Friday, March 27, 2009

At peace

We are going away for a few days to enjoy some free time, the sun, the beach and everything in between.

I can´t really explain how well I feel. I am incredibly grateful for this peace that settled in my mind and in my heart. I guess I got to the point to really understand there are, and will be, many things that I can´t control and I am OK with it.

I let go.

Don´t get me wrong, I haven´t given up, I still want a sibling to my daughter but I have found extreme peace in realizing I am not in control. There are many ways to get there. At this point I am not sure which is the one. I don´t know if my ovaries will cooperate enough and even if they do, it is not a guarantee that we will be able to conceive again, but then there is the do.nor. egg rou.te, or a.dop.tion…. Both of them are truly expensive options, but we will see once we get there. I have come to terms with the fact that there is a possibility that I will not be biologically related to our future child, or children….. and I am completely at peace with it.

And if for some reason, neither option turn out for us, I am sure I will be fine too.

I will be forever grateful for what I have, for as long as I have it.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A humble request....

A few months ago, I asked you to pray for MckMama and baby Stellan the very day she was delivering him, as he had been having heart problems while in the womb and the doctors didn’t know how his heart was going to work once he was born. While in the womb, MckMama was medicated to help the baby’s heart and it improved a lot, but at the end they needed to wean her from the medication and we were all blown away when little Stellan was born happy and healthy. During his firsts months of his life he didn’t show any sign of heart failure at all.

This past weekend, with no warning, Stellan´s heart started to show signs of failure again and went to the hospital. He is still there, fighting for his life but things are looking serious and the doctors haven’t been able to stabilize his heart rate.

One more prayer request, yesterday one year ago, one of my ob´s twin daughters went to heaven. As you can imagine it has been a very difficult year for his family.

Please have these two sweet families in your thoughts and prayers.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Birthday wish

My birthday is coming.

Today at lunch I was asked to give a “suggestion gift” list. I sat there, thought about it and just smiled….

…because, yes, there is just this one thing in my mind,

…just one more,

… but it is something that can´t be bought and wrapped, and I am fully aware that maybe is not meant to be for me, for our family,

…and that´s OK,

….I know that if that's the case, I will be OK,

…but it doesn´t keep me from wishing and dreaming,

…because a girl can dream and wish, right???

…. So I just smiled back, the conversation changed to a different subject and my heart felt safe again.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Don't miss....

To be focused on the shadows of the past and the unknowns of the future is to miss out on the blessings of the present…. is too short, don’t miss anything!