Thursday, September 27, 2007

The treasure’s heart beat!!!…

I had my first u/s yesterday and I am soooo glad to report that everything looked great. Our little treasure - “lt” from now on - was there, as happy as can be, measuring 2.2mm with a heartbeat of 120 BPM.

I really have no words to describe how relieved and happy I feel right now, it’s just unbelievable.

The doctor was really surprised that considering my story, we’ve got our BFP on our own, an even more surprised with my beta numbers. He just couldn’t believe it and said that he has never seen another case like mine in his entire career. Well, there’s nothing impossible for God!

It was funny that when he reviewed my betas again he said they looked great but nothing else, he just stared at them for a while…then when we were in the u/s room, we were looking at the screen and the lt appeared. The doctor explain what we were looking at, then pointed out the heart beat and turned the sound on so we could “hear it”… then he kept looking at my uterus and said well, it seems it is just one!!!…. I laughed and replied that I knew he would also have that doubt because of my high betas and that I would be extremely happy with twins as I’ve always had a fascination with multiples. And his answer was: well, you aren’t really a very “spacious” girl. Twins would’ve been a challenge for your body but we would’ve looked for the best way to deal with it!

To say that we are o.v.e.r t.h.e. m.o.o.n. is really an understatement. We are happily enjoying each day at a time hoping that everything keeps going well.

I am sorry that I haven’t had time to catch up with your blogs this week. This has been a hectic week at the office as one of my coworkers got married and is in her honeymoon, another one is on maternity leave and one more quit and her position hasn’t been replaced yet…. So I am driving myself crazy…. trying, just trying,…. to get the office running. I will try to catch up during the weekend but in the mean time I want to thank you again for all your support, prayers, chicken dances and for taking the time to keep going on this journey with me!

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Monday, September 24, 2007

...Treasure Found!!!

The T is home again!!…. I thought he was coming back on Saturday, but then I checked his itinerary and found out his plane back home was on Sunday. I am glad I found out on time otherwise I would have gone to the airport on Saturday!!!

Well, after a lot of different ideas I finally decided to do a “T.r.e.a.s.u.r.e H.u.n.t” to let him know the news and it was a lot of fun!!!…

It all started in our bedroom. I bought one of those balloons that are filled with helium, it had a smile face and at the end there was a greeting card. He asked me what was that and I told him that I went shopping and found a nice surprise for him, a belated birthday present. He opened the card and inside was this Treasure Hunt Card that I made, with the first hint…

Hint 1: Envelopes, 11, guest bedroom

Hint 2: http address
(Each envelope had a part of a puzzle made of a sheet of paper where I wrote an http address. The address was from a blog that I created)

Hint 3: CD Organizer, M.e.g R.y.a.n, T.o.m H.a.n.k.s, F.O.X.
(This hint was the first post of the blog I created)

Hint 4: Our closet, first drawer, left side, 3 parts
(This hint was hidden behind the DVD of the movie called You’!! in one of our DVD organizers)

Hint 5: Login, password, email site
(Each of this 3 parts were hidden inside his socks sets, so he needed to unfold almost all pairs to find them all!!!)

Hint 6: 3rd bedroom, shower
(This hint was the first email of the email account I created)

Treasure Found!!!…. In the shower of the 3rd bedroom was a big box filled with a lot of paper and a smaller box where I wrapped my H.P.T with several layers of wrapping paper. The smaller box was from one of those designer pens that I got as a present a while ago. We aren’t really into designer things and I had it in a drawer, so I decided to use it just so he couldn’t imagine what was it… and it worked!!!

We both enjoyed the whole process and he didn’t have a clue!!!… We are both very happy but we know it is still early, we are really hoping for the best but don’t want to get our hopes up. We are just taking each day at a time, waiting for our appointment this coming Wednesday.

Friday, September 21, 2007

...Is GOD into trading???

I’ve only told 2 people, one of my coworkers at the office, because she knows my story and is a really good friend, and the second one is my mom. I had a hard time telling my mom and it vas very emotional. She cried and cried and told me something that made me feel bad…. She told me that she had been praying a lot and she told God that He could take her life if He healed me. I know she did so with great intentions but if something happens to her I am going to feel guilty!!!….

Now, I must tell you that my mom is a very nervous person, so when I need to talk to her about anything I need to be very careful of what I tell and how I do it because if she sees that I’m in pain or suffering she gets depressed and it lasts months… Sometimes when I feel really sad, after a good cry I feel better and my batteries recharge like magic, but for her it is not like that. So when I told her about my diagnosis it was way after I had somehow “digested” it. When we spoke about it I’ve always been calmed and relaxed otherwise she would have been depressed for a long time……

Now, I just hope God is really NOT into trading, because for me it is not one thing for the other!!!

On a side note, please send all your good thoughts, prayers and chicken dances to two good online friends. Farah who is at the end of the 2WW and Kathy who is just starting a FET cycle... Girls, I am thinking of you!!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Still here....

Thank you very much for all your comments and support. It really means a lot to me!!!

The T is still traveling, and I haven’t told him the news yet!!!….
When I first found out I wanted to get the beta confirmation, and then I wanted to wait for the second beta to make sure things were going OK….

After that I thought a lot if I should tell him or just wait until he comes back and decided to wait. The reasoning behind my decision is that, first of all I didn’t want to tell him by email or by phone, I wanted to see his face….. Besides that I know it is still early, and if for some reason something just goes wrong during this time that he is away, he will be very worried and feeling awful for being so far. He is coming back this coming Saturday and I haven’t decided how I am going to tell him!!!…

In the mean time I have been P.O.A.S… Thank you God for dollar store H.P.T!!!… And this is a picture of the ones I have so far. The lines are getting darker, so even though I know it doesn’t really mean anything, it gives me a little reassurance…

Talking about symptoms I really don’t have any, other than no AF I feel like I always do. I hope you all have a great day!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Expect the unexpected...

….and amaze yourself!!! …If you haven’t read the previous two post, go and read those first!!!

Well, I headed to the lab on 09/11 and there was the girl that has done all of my blood draws. I explain to her my situation and she told me that the beta test isn’t processed at their facilities. They do the blood draw but they send the sample to another lab, and because of that they keep track of those orders a lot, they could still process my request but I needed to sign this paper with the name of my doctor…. And of course I did so!

I had my blood drawn and as the sample isn’t processed in the same lab, I needed to wait 24 hours to get the results….. The wait began and the next day, when it was time to go pickup the results it was raining a lot here!!!… I wasn’t sure how bad the traffic was going to be and was afraid I couldn’t get to the lab before they close so I called and they gave me the results by phone, and told her I was going back to the lab the next day to have another beta….

Now, both results are back!!!…. My beta on 09/11 at 13-14 DPO was 294, and the one on 09/13 at 15-16 DPO was 887….

I have just no words.... I am truly a.m.a.z.e.d, and s.h.o.c.k.e.d, and s.u.r.p.r.i.s.e.d!

BabyMed has this nice H.C.G. calculator and graphs your values in a chart so you can compare them with the average data of singleton pregnancies. This is what my values look like in the chart:

There was a 202% H.C.G. increase in the two-day period and my doubling time was 30 hours…. I really don’t know why my hormones levels always are OFF CHART!!!!…

I was surprised by my numbers, I really hope it doesn't mean there is something wrong!!!... It seems that for us, the worries never end and I know it is still early…. I will try to take one day at a time, anxiously waiting for the appointment with our FS next week on 09/26. For now I am on cloud nine, over the moon and I want to enjoy it!

9/11 - Part two

…If you haven’t read the previous post, go and read it first!!!….

…. Last Tuesday, when the T left, I decided that it wasn’t good to just keep waiting. If the P.O.F had come back and I needed to start taking H.R.T. again it was better to start now than to wait and let my hormones go crazy as last time… and I knew that the doctor would not fill my prescription for the pills without having a “not pregnant” confirmation. So, after the T left at 4.30 AM, as you can imagine I was just so nervous, so scared, and afraid.

It was just so much, and I couldn’t stand it anymore and decided to go to the lab to have blood work done so I could go to the doctor’s appointment with the results and then be able to leave with the prescription, instead of having him order the test and then go again to pick up the prescription after the results were back. The plan sounded good but I didn’t know if the lab would want to perform the test without the order from the doctor… I always go to the same lab and I have gone so many times that they already know me, so I decided to just go and see if they could help….

I finally woke up and while I was doing the bed I remembered I still had two pee sticks, a cheapie and an early results. I found the cheapie one and decided to P.O.A.S. before going to the lab. I figured that seeing my always snow-white result will help to start coping with the lab results…. So, I did it and my eyes just couldn’t believe what was in the result window….

Yes, there was a second line,
…. and it appeared in less than a minute,
…. and while it wasn’t blaringly dark, it wasn’t faint either,
…. it could be seen easily without H.P.T goggles….

My heart started to pound so hard, I was all shaky and couldn’t believe it. I went back to look for the wrap to check the expiration date, and it wasn’t expired…. But it was a dollar store test, it could be a faulty test… Thank God those tests ask you to as I still had the cup and run to look for the other pee.stick. This was an early results and I wasn’t testing early, so the results would be a bit more reliable…. As soon as the dye started to get to the window area, the second line showed up…

Yes, another second line,
…. and this time it was blaringly dark,
…. almost as dark as the control line…

Here are both H.P.T - for posterity -

OMG, I was overflowed in tears of joy and happiness, I just couldn’t believe it, and I didn’t have more pee.sticks. So I decided to rush to the lab and beg and pray to the girls to perform a beta test!!!….

9/11 - Part one

OK…. I don’t even know how to start this post and it is going to be a loooong one!
I guess I should start from the beginning, right???…. Let’s see:

I’ve never been a PMS girl, no cramps, no bloating, no nothing, so every time my period arrives it is just like that, no warning!!!… Since I was off BCP the only thing that I had as a “sign” was spotting. I am a chronic spotter; I spot for as long as 6 days before AF. That’s why I had my progesterone levels checked a few months ago, but they were OK, so the doctor wasn’t concerned about it.

Last Tuesday, the T left and I was 13-14 DPO and I hadn’t started spotting. I really wasn’t excited because even though I usually spot, I have had 1 cycle with no spotting at all, and moreover, when I was Dx with P.O.F it was like that…. My period just didn’t come, not even a single spot. My hormone levels at that time were incredibly out of control and my ovaries were unresponsive, showing a clear pattern of P.O.F…. Yes, I had several tests performed after that and when the results came back the endocrinologist opinion was that the probability of really being P.O.F was very small, very small doesn’t equals impossible, there was always the chance that it really is.

After all, as I stopped cycling just like that, I started to cycle again, on my own. These facts were what the endocrinologist considered when she gave her final opinion. I was relieved but in my mind the very small chance of really being P.O.F was always there, because at the very end, P.O..F is cruel; it can go away many months and then suddenly appear again to stay forever. If you are cycling on your own, each cycle could be your last one!!!… So, as I kept cycling each month, CD1 was always a day full of mixed feelings.

As the days went by this cycle with no spotting my fears set in, I was scared and afraid. I could barely sleep at night, and the few moments I could I had nightmares! During the day I couldn’t concentrate, my productivity was like almost nonexistent! …But there was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t talk to the T about it. I knew he had to go to this business trip and I was sure he was not going to leave if he knew about it, and it just has no sense to let this take over our lives, we need to keep going!!!…

Thursday, September 13, 2007


I'm home alone one more time....

The T left last Tuesday. He had a lot of things to go over with a few of our suppliers so that is what he is doing during this and the following week. He really needed to make this trip so we thought it was better to do it now that we are just starting with all the renovation work in the new rental than once we are in the "rush" phase.

I went to visit my mom last weekend and find out she received this letter from the government.

My grandparents from my dad's side died a few years ago. They had a few properties and assigned them one for each of their children, so as my father had already past away, the property would be for my mom. It turned out that there is some legal paperwork missing, the time has passed and the issue is still unsolved. The problem is that by law there is this tax you need to pay when you have a property and because of the situation it hasn't been paid. The issue is that the property is still under my grandparent's name and at this point we are not sure if the legal problems will be resolved, so as you can imagine we don't want to "invest" and pay this taxes for a property that may never be for my mom.

The letter is basicaly demanding the payment of this taxes or they will start a legal process to auction the property..... Sooo, I will need to go and try to talk to somebody at the government's office to explain the situation. I hope I can find a way to stop this legal process and delay the payment of the taxes until the legal issues are solved!

I have this other thing going on in my mind that I haven't been able to get a good night sleep for the last few days..... but I really don't want to go into details at this point as I think I may be over-reacting about it, so that's it for now.
Have a great thursday!!!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Good news!!!

I have very good news to report to all of you!!!!
We are really happy and excited about it. This will be the 3rd. store and we plan to have the grand opening in 5 weeks..... Can you imagine how crazy this next 5 weeks are going to be????...
Well, from the experience with the other stores, they are going to be loooooong working days including weekends, but that is part of the fun!
I leave you with a quote by Ralph Marston.... Have a great week!
...If you are going through difficult times, remember that whatever you may encounter is virtually insignificant when compared with what you choose to do with it. Always choose the best response, no matter what comes your way, and each day you'll rise a little higher than you were the day before!!

Monday, September 3, 2007

Rainy weekend

We had a very rainy weekend, but it seems to be over today...
As the time passes, as ironic as it may sound, I feel better about our IF struggles. As each day goes by, the pain is slowly going away. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean I don't care about it, I do care, but the last few weeks I have been feeling more at peace. I really don't understand why is it happening. Maybe it is because I am just starting to accept any possible outcome, or because I am succeeding at trying to convince myself that, at the very end, if things just don't happen for us, we will surely find a way to deal with it. Therefore there is just no point in being tough on myself and making my days any harder.
If you have time, take a few minutes and see this Slideshow is good for today, tomorrow and just anyday you feel you need a little something to help pull yourself together.
Have a great week!