Not this time

I woke up this morning to discover that my period had just started, and while on one hand it meant we were not pregnant, it was also a nice reminder that my ovaries did work at least a little, and that is enough to make me happy today!

I will continue doing my research about the fer.ti.li.ty clinics and the egg do.na.tion programs but I believe we still want to wait at least 4 more months to see what my ovaries are up to. It is weird because there is really nothing I want more than being pregnant again, but then I don´t want to rush things. In the mean while we can also take advantage of this extra time to save a little more to cover the stupidly expensive costs of I..V..F.. with egg do.na.tion.

....because yes, it will be paid out of our very own pockets.

I remind myself every day to keep things in perspective, because my life is great enough already to ruin it with sadness!

CD61 - AKA 1 DPO!

Yeap, that is right.... today I am 1 day past ovulation!

...Yesterday at the ultrasound my lining measured 9.5mm (2.5mm increase from the day before) and my right ovary showed a nice collapsed "late bloomer" follie which meant I had already ovulated a few hours ago. The previous day it measured 16mm, I hope it had a chance to get a little bigger and be mature.

I asked my doctor at the beginning of the appointment if he thought we should do an I..U..I.. considering the impending uncertainty about my future cycles and he agreed that it couldn´t hurt and might help, but after the ultrasound confirmed that I have already ovulated, the I..U..I.. was out of the question, it was too late. So, this try is all on our own!

While of course we are cautiously optimistic, we know there are no guarantees. We will sure hope for the best but be prepared for the worst....

....I guess the simple thought of knowing there is a chance will get us through this waiting stage, because where there is life (and a late bloomer egg!), there is hope!

CD 60 - There is something happening!

After my monitoring appointment yesterday it seems that something is going on.

My right ovary thought CD 60 was not too late and decided to work a little.

I have ONE growing follie measuring 16mm and my lining was at 7mm.

I go in today for another ultrasound to keep track of this nice late bloomer of mine.

It only takes one, right???....

....Can I hope it is a good one???

Could it be???

Oh well, I don´t know what to think….

I have spent the last week doing my research about fer.tility cli.nics, egg do.nation pro.grams, sta.tistics, etc… and was getting excited about all I had been reading and learning.

Last Friday I started to notice some cervical fluid which, up until that day, had been non existent. Vaginal dryness is a symptom of poor ova.rian activity, so I had been as dry as a dessert and the hot flashes were becoming part of this new “me” also. I really didn´t pay much attention to the cervical fluid but then on Saturday I noticed more and by Sunday I realized also that my hot flashes had decreased considerably those last two days and I had been feeling better physically.

On Monday my mind starting racing on what if’s and I decided to get blood work done yesterday to see how my hormone levels were.

Last January, when I realized I was experiencing P..O..F.. symptoms again my blood work showed very high levels of FSH and a very low estrogen level, they were at 59 and 39 respectively. This pattern is very indicative of P..O..F.., in which FSH is sky high and estradiol doesn’t get higher than 60.

After all my boring monitoring appointments, I was expecting the same pattern this time but much to my surprise the levels were different:

F..S..H.. 29
L..H.. 33
Es.tradiol 267

While F..S..H.. and L..H.. are still high, the estradiol is in pretty good levels which can be an indicator of ovarian activity.

I emailed the results to my doctor and I will go in for an ultrasound this afternoon to see if there is really something happening. I just hope we see at least some activity and that the estradiol level is NOT a lab reporting error!