Happy Wednesday!!!

I'm here, I'm here!!!!...

The days have been crazy, the T and I have been very busy at work and with the stores also. I haven't been updating so often because there is really not much to report but yesterday I got some great news that deserve to be mentioned!

The T and I met this couple when we were living in the US, we are very good friends since then and we got great news from them.....They are preggo!!!! They already have two kids, and are now happily expecting the next addition to their family. I close my eyes and it seems like yesterday when I was holding their second child, when he was a newborn, .....and he is a big kid now almost 4 years old!

OK.... I am NOT getting old; HE is the one who is getting BIG ;)

Our friends are still living in the US but he got some work to do in Europe and taking advantage of the school vacations all the family went there to spend the summer. So, after this I am just thinking that the T and I need to start preparing our european summer vacation to see if we can catch at least a little of this preggo vibes!!! .....That sounds like a plan!!!!

Well, in the mean while we will be out of town next week, we are going to attend a trade show in the US. We are looking for new items to be sold in the stores and hopefully this trade show will have good options.

I hope you all have a great Wednesday and hey can I ask you a favor???

SMILE PLEASEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

The news...

Today was the day....

We had our appointment with the FS, and it went well. He was really amazed with my progress and the results of my last 2 blood works, one was 7DPO and it showed a progesterone level of 39 and the other one was the current cycle's CD3 FSH-LH-E2, that I told you about in a previous post.

About the T's SA he really didn't want to say much. I read that SA's results can be greatly influenced by how the sample is handled and therefore you must be really sure that the lab is doing a good job to maintain the optimum conditions. We asked him about this and he agreed, so he told us about a lab that specializes in SA's and then gave us the order for a second SA's in this lab. He also ordered another SA to check for bacteria as the first SA showed the presence of white blood cells in the sample and this suggest the possibility of an infection.

So, once we have the results of these 2 tests we will call the doctor to discuss them and talk about the plan of action.... and hopefully, just hopefully our recipe for success....

Now, this just reminded me of this Ro.xette's song that is called "Dre.ssed for suc.cess".... And yes, I am liking the idea to see this time as our preparation to get dre.ssed for succ.ess!!!

Can dreams come true?

.... WOW, it seems like my guardian angel have been busy this week, because lots of good thing materialized during the last few days!

Well, between many other stuff, last year my boss assigned me a BIG project. The company had just won this project with a new customer located in Eastern Europe, it seemed complicated since the beginning but I like challenges, so I accepted. I can't really describe how difficult it was!!!... It got to a point in which I was afraid every morning... afraid and stressed about getting my email because I just didn't have enough time to deal all of the things that were getting even more complicated than expected. At the end the project was implemented successfully, but it really cost me, like we say here: blood, sweat and tears!

This week we got customer's approval to start working on the contract for a second project!!!... My boss has been out of town for the past few days but I will surprise him with the good news next week!

The stores have also been doing pretty good this week!.... This time of the year is usually low because people is saving and using their money for vacations but so far we have had veeeeery good sales, I 'll cross my fingers for a good weekend also!

In a different matter, the T told me the other day that he got an email from a friend. She sends emails once in a while to be in touch, so she wrote about her life and at the end she wrote that she dreamed about us a few days ago. She dreamed that the T and I had twins (she doesn't know about our IF) , a boy and a girl.... I just couldn't resist to smile at the T when he was telling me, really it would be the best thing ever!!!....

...They say that God doesn't charge us for asking, praying so today I will ask and pray. Hopefully someday I will live to see her dream come true!

A new perspective...

OK the weekend is over, and this Monday brings not just a new week but also a new chapter in our lives...

I found this quote in one of the blogs that I read and it spoke to me. Today I want to share it with you. No matter what you may be dealing with at this point in your life, I believe it can speak to you too.

...Life is too short to wake up every morning with regrets,

so love the people who treat you right,

forget about the ones who don't,

and believe that everything happens for a reason....

If you get a chance, TAKE IT,

if it changes your life, LET IT.

Nobody said that it would be easy,

they just promised it would be worth it!!!

TGIF!!!

Time flies!!!.... I can't believe it is Friday already!!!.....
Most of the people would be happy because Friday means the beginning of the weekend - time to take a break from work and get free time to enjoy -
Well, the meaning of weekend in my house isn't quite that one!!!... That just doesn't seem to happen when you are part of the "retail world"

Yes, T's family owns a business that besides wholesale runs two retail stores (and already working to find a rental for the 3rd. one!) .... So as you can imagine, weekends are the busiest days of the week in the stores. I have a job that has nothing to do with the family business but I also help the T with several things at the stores, so most of my week days are pretty busy with my job and then the weekends with the stores.... The fun never ends!
Sometimes, when I feel tired I think that it is just too much... and then I think of all those unemployed people and I feel bad and guilty for complaining. Thank God for giving me health and a lot of busy days!

OK... I wasn't able to talk to my endocrinologist about the T's SA but I already booked an appointment with our FS. This doctor is the one I saw when I was looking for a second opinion when I was Dx with POF, and he was who referred me to my endocrinologist. We will see him on July 18th, so I believe we will just wait to hear his opinion.

That's all for now, so fasten your seat belts, get ready, and......... enjoy the weekend!!!

From POF to MFI, am I sooooo lucky???

Well, The T went to the lab yesterday for a SA. We got the results today and even thought I am NOT a doctor, I believe it doesn't look good.

The count was 16.6 million per ml and the reference level stated that normal should be from 60-150 million per ml.
Motility at 30 min was 38%, at 1-2hr was 15%, at 3 hr was 11% and after 4 hrs was 1%.
Morfology was normal: 86%

I have tried to do research but couldn't find that much information. I just learned that they called oligospermia to the low count and astenoospermia to the lack of motility. Anyway, I will try to contact my RE to see what does she suggest. I guess we will need to see an urologist but I am not sure.

I really don't know what all this is taking us but I am sure of one thing, I am soooo very lucky to have a loving marriage and also to have the T as my husband, because we will get through this TOGETHER!!!

Where are we now???

Well, I have been having normal cycles, and since then have been TTC on our own unsuccessfully. 5 cycles had passed, but of those we didn't time things right in 2 because the T was out of town on my "green days"... The other 3 I believe we did time things perfectly but no success anyway.

I am using FAM to see how are my cycles and while are not perfect, IMO they seem to be getting better.

Even though I am currently having normal cycles, I just can't let go the fear that the POF diagnosis brought to me. Sometimes I think I am being paranoid but that's how I feel. My last blood work was done back in early March and this month the thought of POF coming back has been in my mind a lot. It has been bothering that much that I decided to have blood work done again to check how we are, so last Friday was CD3 and I went to the lab. The results were better than ever: FSH 5.4, LH 5.6, E2 58. I was very happy and it helped to ease my mind a bit.

Well, I know it can take many months for a healthy couple to conceive but considering my case I guess I feel more pressure and want it to happen soon, but then I remember it's not all in my hands!

Once I was in the lab getting my blood drawn I asked about SA's. I learned that they are not as expensive as I thought they will be so I talked to the T about it and we decided he will go and have it done. I made an appointment for tomorrow, so I will keep my fingers crossed so that everything is OK, and hope for the BEST.

Second opinion...

Well, my dear friend A, reccommended a naturopath and the T and I went to see him. After listening to me and reviewing my blood work he was convinced I didn't have POF, he was the first person to doubt about the Dx. He gave me some herbal tinctures and fresh herbs to make tea and I started taking them along with my HRT pills.
His opinion on my pills was that it was OK to take them for one month to get my FSH and LH back to normal levels but after that we needed to work with my body so it can produce the estrogen by ITSELF and not tricking it by the estrogen supplied by the HRT.

After the appointment the T and I were hopeful and decided that I will finish the package of HRT, and I will not start a new one. We wanted to see how my body responded without the HRT, just taking the natural remedies. Once I finished the last pill, I got my induced period on December the 2nd, and a new cycle without HRT started.

Much to my surprise I started my period on my own on December 27th, no HRT needed... and I must admit that I have never been so happy about actually having a period!

Well, after that we went to see an endocrinologist (RE) for a second opinion. She seemed positive and thought we were on the right track being off HRT, she wanted to give my body some time to let go all the effects of chemicals before doing further testing. She seemed concerned about my weight and my training level but I'have had a knee injury the week before so I had quit the training for the marathon, so she said to keep it easy.

So, the next period was annovulatory and I developed a functional cyst but after that the next one was normal. I had more tests done on CD4 ordered by the RE: An LH/FSH-RH stimulation test, DHEA, and 17-alpha-hydroxyprogesterone.

All the tests came back N O R M A L !!! ....I had gained 4 pounds due to the lack of exercise and the RE told us her opinion: She thought IT WASN'T POF. I had a chronic hormonal imbalance due to a combination of things: being on BCP for so long, lack of body fat needed to produce estrogen (due to overtraining) and stress. She put me on a diet to increase my body fat and therefore my BMI and the next two months I gained 6 more pounds. My cycles were fairly regular and on my own, no HRT needed at all !!!

After dealing with the POF diagnose it is hard to believe that it was all a bad dream. POF is cruel sometimes because it is possible to have it and then suddenly experience a few months of normal cycles and then appear again!... That is the "beauty" of it, you never know what to expect, if you are on a normal cycle it could very well be your LAST ONE...

POF... and a very small world!!!

After my diagnosis I was shocked!!!....
It was very difficult to deal with, it really hurts.... but why to focus on what I can't have instead of counting and be grateful for EVERYTHING I do have???
Even though I was still grieving I chose the positive path, and this approach was much better and helped me through my everyday life after the diagnosis.

Besides my work, I was involved in a new, very exciting project with the T at that time, so there were many nights with few hours of sleep and also a lot of weekends without free time to rest.... we were very busy.

As big as this world may seems to be it isn't!!!... One of the T co-workers had been struggling to get pregnant, but we didn't know what was the problem. After my diagnosis we learned that she also was diagnosed with POF!... To be able to talk to someone that was not just wearing but actually walking in my SHOES helped me tons.... Dear A, if you read this someday I want you to know that I really appreciate your time and all the support from you!

A little about me

Well, where do I start?...

The T-boy (the T from now on) and I have been married for 5 years but we dated for almost 9, so that makes 14 wonderful years together!

When we got married, we lived the first 2 years in the US while the T attended grad school, after that we came back to our country and we both kept working and decided to wait to start our family. At the end of last year we were ready and excited to start trying, so I went off BCP and my period didn't come.

I had suffered from secondary amenorrhea in 2001 due to overtraining so I thought it happened again!... Nothing serious back then, I took some pills for 3 months to help my hormones get back on track and after those 3 months everything went back to normal. This time I was working out a lot also, I was training for a marathon and was running about 30 miles per week.

I had an u/s and my OB/GYN ordered some blood work and when I got the results I was shocked!!... I didn't know exactly what was happening but they just didn't look good at all. My FSH was 84, LH was 46 and estradiol was non existent at less than 20.

I went to my follow-up appointment and my OB/GYN after looking at my blood work results asked me a lot of questions, he was trying to look for symptoms but I had none of them. He told me that sometimes it happens, and Dx me with POF (Premature ovarian failure) and told me that basically I was experiencing menopause 15 to 20 years earlier than normal. My ovaries had stopped working, and that explained my abnormally high levels of FSH and LH.

Obviously, getting pregnant naturally was not impossible but VERY close to, and also I needed to start HRT right away to overcome the effects of menopause in terms of bone density and heart diseases.

I didn't know that POF even existed, so I started my research and learned a lot about it.... What a warm welcome to the infertility world!