The thing about faith is it isn't about what we want...
It’s a confidence that God won’t give us any challenge we can’t handle….
....We just don’t know what that limit is.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A happy day indeed!...
I have been following Kathy´s blog for quite a while...
...After many years of struggles and then placing her first daughter into the arms of our Father, the world smiled again one morning last January as 2 pink lines appeared...
...A miracle, spontaneous, much wanted cenception happened and a new little life had begun...
...Today, that little life made her entrance into this world, safe and sound, turning Sept 17th in a VERY HAPPY day indeed!
Congratulations and a BIG BEAR hug to Kathy, Bob, Sean, Molly and little Abigail Grace!
...After many years of struggles and then placing her first daughter into the arms of our Father, the world smiled again one morning last January as 2 pink lines appeared...
...A miracle, spontaneous, much wanted cenception happened and a new little life had begun...
...Today, that little life made her entrance into this world, safe and sound, turning Sept 17th in a VERY HAPPY day indeed!
Congratulations and a BIG BEAR hug to Kathy, Bob, Sean, Molly and little Abigail Grace!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Thank you!
Thank you…
Thank you…
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave your comments to my previous post!
We really are NOT at the stage of actually deciding on an option yet, but I am doing my research, and up until now those are our 2 choices.
There were some interesting questions some of you had and I will try to address those in this post.
The contact with the nearest clinic is through my doctors here. We really don´t have too much info as we haven’t really had an appointment to discuss it, but I will make sure to have all the facts when the time comes.
The big-guns clinic has a lot of information on their site, but we haven’t had any appointments with them either. All I know is from the webpage and a few fellow bloggers who cycled or are currently cycling there. As we haven’t had any appointments with them I don’t know if they would suggest to try a cycle with my eggs, but due to my current FSH levels, I highly doubt it, and honestly I strongly believe it will be just a waste of time, effort and money!
From what I know each clinic has its own pool of donors, but I am not sure how much information about the donors each clinic will share. I believe the waiting list may be a bit shorter in the nearest clinic but then I know that they don´t do the screening on donors until AFTER the donor has been chosen -and if something is wrong you are back to square one again!-, and the big-guns clinic do the screening on all their donors BEFORE adding them to their pool, so they are always ready to cycle, so that may offset the longer waitlist.
Em.bryo dona.tion could be a possibility also, but considering that in the most viable options my genetic link will be out of the equation, I REALLY would like our future child(ren) to have the genetic link to DH, so we will try that first.
We still have time, I will sure let you all know what we decided after the initial appointments, but they will not be before October. Even though I will just LOVE to have a growing belly again soon, I know this time is helping us greatly.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The BIG question?
Yes, I am still here!!!
Things have been busy around this corner of the world but thankfully we are all fine, just melting ourselves away in this 100+ F we get here at this time of the year, which I read has been the worst in the last 27 years.
As each day goes by I am more used to the idea of giving a try to the egg dona.tion option. We will need to travel to do it because here in my country those programs are at the beginning stage and the testing every donor should have performed regarding infectious diseases, etc… is not well structured, and therefore risky.
We have two options at this point:
OPTION 1: Closer to home - can get there easily by car-, success rates at 60-65% in egg dona.tion cycles, performing about 30 dona.tion cycles per year, costs at around 20 thousand USD per cycle
OPTION 2: Far from home – will need to fly, success rates at 80% in egg do.na.tion cycles, performing about 180+ dona.tion cycles per year, costs at around 35 thousand per cycle
Our insurance does NOT cover any kind of ferti.lity treatment, so everything will be paid from our very own pockets. We are not wealthy people by any means, but can find the way to finance either option.
…And the BIG question is, WHAT WOULD YOU DO????...
I greatly appreciate all your input!!!
Things have been busy around this corner of the world but thankfully we are all fine, just melting ourselves away in this 100+ F we get here at this time of the year, which I read has been the worst in the last 27 years.
As each day goes by I am more used to the idea of giving a try to the egg dona.tion option. We will need to travel to do it because here in my country those programs are at the beginning stage and the testing every donor should have performed regarding infectious diseases, etc… is not well structured, and therefore risky.
We have two options at this point:
OPTION 1: Closer to home - can get there easily by car-, success rates at 60-65% in egg dona.tion cycles, performing about 30 dona.tion cycles per year, costs at around 20 thousand USD per cycle
OPTION 2: Far from home – will need to fly, success rates at 80% in egg do.na.tion cycles, performing about 180+ dona.tion cycles per year, costs at around 35 thousand per cycle
Our insurance does NOT cover any kind of ferti.lity treatment, so everything will be paid from our very own pockets. We are not wealthy people by any means, but can find the way to finance either option.
…And the BIG question is, WHAT WOULD YOU DO????...
I greatly appreciate all your input!!!
Thanks a lot in advance ;)
Monday, July 13, 2009
Not this time
I woke up this morning to discover that my period had just started, and while on one hand it meant we were not pregnant, it was also a nice reminder that my ovaries did work at least a little, and that is enough to make me happy today!
I will continue doing my research about the fer.ti.li.ty clinics and the egg do.na.tion programs but I believe we still want to wait at least 4 more months to see what my ovaries are up to. It is weird because there is really nothing I want more than being pregnant again, but then I don´t want to rush things. In the mean while we can also take advantage of this extra time to save a little more to cover the stupidly expensive costs of I..V..F.. with egg do.na.tion.
....because yes, it will be paid out of our very own pockets.
I remind myself every day to keep things in perspective, because my life is great enough already to ruin it with sadness!
Friday, July 3, 2009
CD61 - AKA 1 DPO!
Yeap, that is right.... today I am 1 day past ovulation!
...Yesterday at the ultrasound my lining measured 9.5mm (2.5mm increase from the day before) and my right ovary showed a nice collapsed "late bloomer" follie which meant I had already ovulated a few hours ago. The previous day it measured 16mm, I hope it had a chance to get a little bigger and be mature.
I asked my doctor at the beginning of the appointment if he thought we should do an I..U..I.. considering the impending uncertainty about my future cycles and he agreed that it couldn´t hurt and might help, but after the ultrasound confirmed that I have already ovulated, the I..U..I.. was out of the question, it was too late. So, this try is all on our own!
While of course we are cautiously optimistic, we know there are no guarantees. We will sure hope for the best but be prepared for the worst....
....I guess the simple thought of knowing there is a chance will get us through this waiting stage, because where there is life (and a late bloomer egg!), there is hope!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
CD 60 - There is something happening!
After my monitoring appointment yesterday it seems that something is going on.
My right ovary thought CD 60 was not too late and decided to work a little.
I have ONE growing follie measuring 16mm and my lining was at 7mm.
I go in today for another ultrasound to keep track of this nice late bloomer of mine.
It only takes one, right???....
....Can I hope it is a good one???
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Could it be???
Oh well, I don´t know what to think….
I have spent the last week doing my research about fer.tility cli.nics, egg do.nation pro.grams, sta.tistics, etc… and was getting excited about all I had been reading and learning.
Last Friday I started to notice some cervical fluid which, up until that day, had been non existent. Vaginal dryness is a symptom of poor ova.rian activity, so I had been as dry as a dessert and the hot flashes were becoming part of this new “me” also. I really didn´t pay much attention to the cervical fluid but then on Saturday I noticed more and by Sunday I realized also that my hot flashes had decreased considerably those last two days and I had been feeling better physically.
I have spent the last week doing my research about fer.tility cli.nics, egg do.nation pro.grams, sta.tistics, etc… and was getting excited about all I had been reading and learning.
Last Friday I started to notice some cervical fluid which, up until that day, had been non existent. Vaginal dryness is a symptom of poor ova.rian activity, so I had been as dry as a dessert and the hot flashes were becoming part of this new “me” also. I really didn´t pay much attention to the cervical fluid but then on Saturday I noticed more and by Sunday I realized also that my hot flashes had decreased considerably those last two days and I had been feeling better physically.
On Monday my mind starting racing on what if’s and I decided to get blood work done yesterday to see how my hormone levels were.
Last January, when I realized I was experiencing P..O..F.. symptoms again my blood work showed very high levels of FSH and a very low estrogen level, they were at 59 and 39 respectively. This pattern is very indicative of P..O..F.., in which FSH is sky high and estradiol doesn’t get higher than 60.
After all my boring monitoring appointments, I was expecting the same pattern this time but much to my surprise the levels were different:
F..S..H.. 29
L..H.. 33
Es.tradiol 267
Last January, when I realized I was experiencing P..O..F.. symptoms again my blood work showed very high levels of FSH and a very low estrogen level, they were at 59 and 39 respectively. This pattern is very indicative of P..O..F.., in which FSH is sky high and estradiol doesn’t get higher than 60.
After all my boring monitoring appointments, I was expecting the same pattern this time but much to my surprise the levels were different:
F..S..H.. 29
L..H.. 33
Es.tradiol 267
While F..S..H.. and L..H.. are still high, the estradiol is in pretty good levels which can be an indicator of ovarian activity.
I emailed the results to my doctor and I will go in for an ultrasound this afternoon to see if there is really something happening. I just hope we see at least some activity and that the estradiol level is NOT a lab reporting error!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Final call
2 more of the same boring monitoring appointments brought the final call
It is really impossible to predict if someday, somehow, my ovaries will work again, like they did 2 years ago. As they are and look right now it seems like never. They are looking, and I am feeling pretty much me.no.pau.sal but we never know, that is the beauty of P..O..F..
…It is like a box of chocolates: you really never know what you’re going to get!
My doctor started the talk about other options, family building wise, but I wanted the T to be present and he couldn’t make it yesterday, so we have scheduled another appointment next week to talk about it.
It is pretty much looking like the ending of this pursuit to have one more biological child, and the beginning of a new chapter exploring the options of what can be.
"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..."
I just needed to read this today, thank you Bella for sharing!.... Bella, is a fellow blogger with P..O..F.., and yesterday got GREAT news after her first do.nor eggs cycle!!!...
It is really impossible to predict if someday, somehow, my ovaries will work again, like they did 2 years ago. As they are and look right now it seems like never. They are looking, and I am feeling pretty much me.no.pau.sal but we never know, that is the beauty of P..O..F..
…It is like a box of chocolates: you really never know what you’re going to get!
My doctor started the talk about other options, family building wise, but I wanted the T to be present and he couldn’t make it yesterday, so we have scheduled another appointment next week to talk about it.
It is pretty much looking like the ending of this pursuit to have one more biological child, and the beginning of a new chapter exploring the options of what can be.
"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..."
I just needed to read this today, thank you Bella for sharing!.... Bella, is a fellow blogger with P..O..F.., and yesterday got GREAT news after her first do.nor eggs cycle!!!...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Day 32 monitoring
I had one more monitoring appointment last Thursday and there was no change at all, my ovaries are totally inactive and there is no lining, therefore I am in CD 38 and haven´t had a period. If there is nothing to shed, there is no period!
My doctor had a family emergency out of town since last week, so this time the ultrasound was performed by another doctor, she is the youngest there, I guess she is probably on her early thirties. She talked to my doctor on the phone after the ultrasound and he wanted me to keep taking Fe.ma.ra until he comes back and calls me. I really don´t know how much longer he wants to keep going, but I don’t believe it will be that long….
…And now that the egg do.na.tion seems to be the next step I really don´t know if we should go that route or just start the adoption process. I loved being pregnant, and sometimes I want with all my heart to be pregnant again, even if the baby is not mine biologically, but then there is this thought that if we couldn´t make it happen with our own ga.me.tes there are lots of kids waiting to have loving adoptive parents and it just breaks my heart….
It breaks my heart to know it, and a selfish feeling gets to me.
Does it really is this difficult?
My doctor had a family emergency out of town since last week, so this time the ultrasound was performed by another doctor, she is the youngest there, I guess she is probably on her early thirties. She talked to my doctor on the phone after the ultrasound and he wanted me to keep taking Fe.ma.ra until he comes back and calls me. I really don´t know how much longer he wants to keep going, but I don’t believe it will be that long….
…And now that the egg do.na.tion seems to be the next step I really don´t know if we should go that route or just start the adoption process. I loved being pregnant, and sometimes I want with all my heart to be pregnant again, even if the baby is not mine biologically, but then there is this thought that if we couldn´t make it happen with our own ga.me.tes there are lots of kids waiting to have loving adoptive parents and it just breaks my heart….
It breaks my heart to know it, and a selfish feeling gets to me.
Does it really is this difficult?
Monday, June 1, 2009
Magic
Today is the first day of June, and my fifth day on Fe.ma.ra. The first two days I had headaches and really don’t know if it was the medication or it was just coincidence. Thankfully, no other side effects so far. I still have hot flashes but that is due to being, well, menopausal, with high levels of F..S..H and low es.tro.gen…
From all the days while I tracked my cycles, when I was cycling on my own, I have come to know myself pretty well and I am able to recognize my fertility signs and at this point I don’t have any, which leads me to believe the Fe.ma.ra is not doing its magic.
It seems we will need another kind of magic…
..the kind of magic that comes when you let go, count your blessings, and don’t let the circumstances define who you really are!
From all the days while I tracked my cycles, when I was cycling on my own, I have come to know myself pretty well and I am able to recognize my fertility signs and at this point I don’t have any, which leads me to believe the Fe.ma.ra is not doing its magic.
It seems we will need another kind of magic…
..the kind of magic that comes when you let go, count your blessings, and don’t let the circumstances define who you really are!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Day 25 monitoring
One more monitoring appointment left behind...
....With the B..C..P.. we were trying to give my ovaries a little break, but they didn't take a little vacation, they are taking a sabatic year!
Things were the same, and we had a good laugh as I was joking, making fun of myself and my lazy ovaries.
So, on to plan B, I am starting Fe.ma.ra today hoping for a miracle.
I believe in miracles, actually I have one at home waiting for me, and sometimes I think I am being greedy wanting more, but then at the same time I know there is no other way to know what is in store for us than trying.
It is a try an error kind of thing!
And while trying I trust....
.... I trust that whatever final outcome we get will be the best for us, and now we are just going one step at a time, trying to find out which door will finally open.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Day 18 monitoring
I went for one more monitoring appointment today.
As I suspected, things are pretty much the same as the previous two weeks, no ovarian activity at all and therefore a very thin lining.
At this point, there is really not much hope left. My doctor decided to give it one last chance for an extra week, so I am supposed to go back next Thursday again. We both agree it is very likely that things will look exactly the same.
So, considering I am once again showing a very clear pattern of pre.ma.tu.re ova.rian fai.lure, there are really not too many options for us. The plan for now is to wait one more week with no meds and if the ovaries are still innactive, as they have been, try Fe.ma.ra hoping it will get my cycle going. If Fe.ma.ra does not do the trick we will be facing either the I..V..F.. with egg do.na.tion path or a.dop.tion.
I feel OK, of course there are moments when it hits me and I am sad, but it does not last long as I think about how fortunate we are already.
We have so much.
ALREADY.
...And for that we will be forever grateful and happy, no matter what the future holds.
....All this just keeps me realizing, even more every day, what an extraordinary miracle our daughter is!
As I suspected, things are pretty much the same as the previous two weeks, no ovarian activity at all and therefore a very thin lining.
At this point, there is really not much hope left. My doctor decided to give it one last chance for an extra week, so I am supposed to go back next Thursday again. We both agree it is very likely that things will look exactly the same.
So, considering I am once again showing a very clear pattern of pre.ma.tu.re ova.rian fai.lure, there are really not too many options for us. The plan for now is to wait one more week with no meds and if the ovaries are still innactive, as they have been, try Fe.ma.ra hoping it will get my cycle going. If Fe.ma.ra does not do the trick we will be facing either the I..V..F.. with egg do.na.tion path or a.dop.tion.
I feel OK, of course there are moments when it hits me and I am sad, but it does not last long as I think about how fortunate we are already.
We have so much.
ALREADY.
...And for that we will be forever grateful and happy, no matter what the future holds.
....All this just keeps me realizing, even more every day, what an extraordinary miracle our daughter is!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Day 11 monitoring
I had my second monitoring appointment today - CD 11 -
….and all I can say is that my ovaries urgently need an alarm clock!!!... They are sound asleep with no tangible intentions to wake up and start working!
…As expected, with no ovarian activity, my lining was very thin.
…I need to recruit T.o.m. C.r.u.i.s.e for this mission impossible, or maybe, D.a.v.i.d. C.o.p.p.e.r.f.i.e.l.d can give us a hand too!
I am going back next week, and I guess the plan will start to develop then, but as I see it, it is very likely that egg do.na.tion will be our viable option.
Make your bets, the game is just starting!
….and all I can say is that my ovaries urgently need an alarm clock!!!... They are sound asleep with no tangible intentions to wake up and start working!
…As expected, with no ovarian activity, my lining was very thin.
…I need to recruit T.o.m. C.r.u.i.s.e for this mission impossible, or maybe, D.a.v.i.d. C.o.p.p.e.r.f.i.e.l.d can give us a hand too!
I am going back next week, and I guess the plan will start to develop then, but as I see it, it is very likely that egg do.na.tion will be our viable option.
Make your bets, the game is just starting!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Please!
The Freemans are going through a very difficult time. I just can´t even imagine how they are feeling. Their beautiful youngest daughter was born premature 11 months ago. She was the sweetest one pound miracle on earth!...
...Yesterday, she got her final call and went to Heaven.
The Spohrs are also having tough days as they are missing Maddie even more as each day goes by.
Please, have these two families in your thoughts and prayers today and in the days to come.
May they find the strenght to overcome this difficult time.
...Yesterday, she got her final call and went to Heaven.
The Spohrs are also having tough days as they are missing Maddie even more as each day goes by.
Please, have these two families in your thoughts and prayers today and in the days to come.
May they find the strenght to overcome this difficult time.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Day 3 monitoring
I had my first monitoring appointment yesterday and well, my ovaries are not active at all, my right ovary had nothing going on....
Nothing at all!!!....
...And the left had only ONE follice measuring 6mm. Our OB didn´t say anything, good or bad about it, he wants me to come back next week for another ultrasound but I guess it is pretty clear that my ovarian reserve is going to its very end.
Houston, we have a no eggs problem!!!
I am not surprised, I am glad I was prepared for it.
Oh well, it is looking like an interesting roller coaster ahead!
Nothing at all!!!....
...And the left had only ONE follice measuring 6mm. Our OB didn´t say anything, good or bad about it, he wants me to come back next week for another ultrasound but I guess it is pretty clear that my ovarian reserve is going to its very end.
Houston, we have a no eggs problem!!!
I am not surprised, I am glad I was prepared for it.
Oh well, it is looking like an interesting roller coaster ahead!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Let's roll....
I took my last B..C..P.. last night, which means I should be getting AF on Monday. I have my first monitoring appointment next Wednesday and I guess the plan will develop depending on how things are looking.
Sometimes I feel that we may still have a chance and sometimes I think we are trying to make a rock ovulate. On our last appointment my OB was very hopeful and positive, but the reality is that there are no guarantees.
I have been very kind to my ovaries lately, I have spoken softly to them trying to convince them to get a little active one more time and jump on this boat with us. Let´s see if they are listening.
….Stay tuned!
Sometimes I feel that we may still have a chance and sometimes I think we are trying to make a rock ovulate. On our last appointment my OB was very hopeful and positive, but the reality is that there are no guarantees.
I have been very kind to my ovaries lately, I have spoken softly to them trying to convince them to get a little active one more time and jump on this boat with us. Let´s see if they are listening.
….Stay tuned!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Dearest Daughter...
I have been thinking a lot about what I want to say to you today and I just don´t seem to find the right words to describe the joy and happiness I have felt this past year, your first year!
I always wanted to have a daughter. When I found out you were a girl I was ecstatic about it. I carried you in my belly everywhere, you were my passenger!... I talked to you about what we were doing, or where we were going, I sang to you, I taught you how to choose fruits and veggies and then how to cook them; we went to church, to the bank, even traveling. Being pregnant with you was one of the most exciting and enjoyable experiences I have ever had.
While you were in my womb time just flew and right at 8 months I had an emergency, I was loosing a lot of blood and you were not doing OK inside my belly anymore so it was time to take you out. Everything was uncertain at that time and I will never forget how grateful I felt when I heard you cry. I just heard you, I couldn’t see you because you were not doing good and needed to be taken care of, so off to the NICU you went. Those were difficult days. We didn’t know what will happen, but you were a miracle, our miracle and since those days you taught us you were a champion. With much help, doctors, more doctors, respirators, ventilators, shots, and lots of love you kept getting better and better each day and after 2 weeks we were able to take you home.
Once at home, you slept in your crib since the first day. It seemed to big for such a little bundle of you and today you jump, pull up and play all around that same crib, and now it seems so little for that much energy!
I close my eyes and I just can not believe one year has gone by. A year in which far from teaching and helping you to discover the world, you have taught me to discover myself again and have reminded me that the best things are found in our everyday life together: in your smile, in making you laugh out loud, in amaze myself when I look at your expression when you are discovering something new.
Parenting you has certainly been a whole new chapter in my life and I am no expert, but I can assure you everything was, and still is, so worth it.
I have truly enjoyed being around you, full of you… Those sleepless first nights at home, those days of letting you sleep in my chest, those days when I sang to you for hours, those feeding sessions, those minutes during your bath time, those last minutes at the office impatiently waiting to see you again at home.
Looking at you has become my most effective medicine. You make every pain to disappear and every trouble to go away.
Thank you for being here, for making me a mom, for changing my life, for melting my heart, for being soup to my soul, for flooding me in joy, for passing your laughter, for being who you are!
You are NOT the daughter I had always wanted, you are sooooo much, much, much more I had ever imagined you would be, and I love you sooooo much, much, much more than I can express!
Happy first birthday my little girl,….. and cheers to, hopefully, for God´s grace, many, many, many more birthdays to come and share together!
I always wanted to have a daughter. When I found out you were a girl I was ecstatic about it. I carried you in my belly everywhere, you were my passenger!... I talked to you about what we were doing, or where we were going, I sang to you, I taught you how to choose fruits and veggies and then how to cook them; we went to church, to the bank, even traveling. Being pregnant with you was one of the most exciting and enjoyable experiences I have ever had.
While you were in my womb time just flew and right at 8 months I had an emergency, I was loosing a lot of blood and you were not doing OK inside my belly anymore so it was time to take you out. Everything was uncertain at that time and I will never forget how grateful I felt when I heard you cry. I just heard you, I couldn’t see you because you were not doing good and needed to be taken care of, so off to the NICU you went. Those were difficult days. We didn’t know what will happen, but you were a miracle, our miracle and since those days you taught us you were a champion. With much help, doctors, more doctors, respirators, ventilators, shots, and lots of love you kept getting better and better each day and after 2 weeks we were able to take you home.
Once at home, you slept in your crib since the first day. It seemed to big for such a little bundle of you and today you jump, pull up and play all around that same crib, and now it seems so little for that much energy!
I close my eyes and I just can not believe one year has gone by. A year in which far from teaching and helping you to discover the world, you have taught me to discover myself again and have reminded me that the best things are found in our everyday life together: in your smile, in making you laugh out loud, in amaze myself when I look at your expression when you are discovering something new.
Parenting you has certainly been a whole new chapter in my life and I am no expert, but I can assure you everything was, and still is, so worth it.
I have truly enjoyed being around you, full of you… Those sleepless first nights at home, those days of letting you sleep in my chest, those days when I sang to you for hours, those feeding sessions, those minutes during your bath time, those last minutes at the office impatiently waiting to see you again at home.
Looking at you has become my most effective medicine. You make every pain to disappear and every trouble to go away.
Thank you for being here, for making me a mom, for changing my life, for melting my heart, for being soup to my soul, for flooding me in joy, for passing your laughter, for being who you are!
You are NOT the daughter I had always wanted, you are sooooo much, much, much more I had ever imagined you would be, and I love you sooooo much, much, much more than I can express!
Happy first birthday my little girl,….. and cheers to, hopefully, for God´s grace, many, many, many more birthdays to come and share together!
Friday, April 17, 2009
...A very special day!
....A very special day indeed!
Preparations are in full force in Heaven because a birthday party will start shortly. A beautiful baby girl, Molly Marie is celebrating her first birthday!
It is certainly a beautiful day, yet painful and bittersweet for her family here on earth.
Please join me in celebrating Molly´s life today, and have her and her family in your thoughts and prayers.
Happy birthday little Molly, you are extremely lucky to have such a wonderful family, you will be foreved missed and loved!!!...
Preparations are in full force in Heaven because a birthday party will start shortly. A beautiful baby girl, Molly Marie is celebrating her first birthday!
It is certainly a beautiful day, yet painful and bittersweet for her family here on earth.
Please join me in celebrating Molly´s life today, and have her and her family in your thoughts and prayers.
Happy birthday little Molly, you are extremely lucky to have such a wonderful family, you will be foreved missed and loved!!!...
Monday, April 6, 2009
We are back
We had a great time, enjoyed ourselves and celebrated by birthday!!!
It was a great get away and now, we are back to our daily routine. AF arrived this past weekend and I will be starting the last pack of B..C..P.. this coming Wednesday.
Farah asked me a while ago, how it felt to be trying again.... Well, we really have not started the fun part yet, but up to this point it has been very different from last time. The IF wound is there and it will never go away, but it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. I am not sad when I look at pregnant bellies or when I hear pregnancy announcements. I have found myself actually happy, hoping really hard to have that opportunity one more time, but then at the same time, being extremelly aware that it may not happen, and knowing that if that is the case, I will get through it.
Having our daughter, for me, has certainly make this a road a lot more pleasant. She keeps me grounded, grateful, hopeful.
Many doors will appear on our road in the months to come. I trust the one that opens will be the best one for us, so I am just going with the flow, just about to start knocking on doors to find out THE ONE.
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