Prayer requests!

Today is a big day for Trish, she is having her beta today and we are all hoping for a great result because she and her hubby really deserve it!!!... They have been struggling with IF and miscarriages, so please give her your support.
Trish, I really hope this is the ONE..... A Big hug for you and David!!

On a different note, please also have Kathy on your thoughts and prayers as she is waiting for more answers after an appointment next week. Her baby is having an irregular heart beat and therefore she has been referred to a pediatric cardiologist.

Kathy, I really hope you get reassuring answers next week!!

The last Friday of 2007!!!

My appointment yesterday was a very short one. The report of the genetic u/s I had on Friday wasn’t ready so we couldn’t discuss about it. My OB/GYN told us everything must be great because he didn’t hear anything from the genetic specialist and during the u/s he hold me everything looked OK. Usually if there is something wrong he calls your OB/GYN right after the u/s and he didn’t so I assume we are OK. My OB will review the report once its there and he won’t call us unless he doesn’t like something.

I have had a very busy week!!!… Being the last week of the year there are a lot of things that need to be done at my office so we are all stretching every second as much as we can…

In the stores it is the same story… The days were hectic before Christmas with all the orders that needed to be delivered for Christmas and now with the ones for New Years. No complaints about it, we are happy that things are going great. Last year things were kind of slow after Christmas and we thought this year will be the same but nope, so far we have had a great week and we hope for great sales this weekend!

On a different matter, I guess it’s always nice to put a face to a name. I am kind of reserved of posting pictures on this b.l.o.g. I really don’t know why, maybe because this is the place where I can come and write about everything and anything -at the same time- without really thinking before. It is my “escape” place when I need one…. But then Farah inspired me because she posted a pic and I was happy to “meet” her and now to actually picture her talking when I am reading her posts. So I decided to do the same thing. The picture will not be here forever, just for a while so you can picture me when you read.

I hope you all have a wonderful new year’s celebration and a 2008 full of health, work, love and great surprises!

My best christmas gift ever!

I didn’t have a chance to update during the weekend but I am very happy to report that everything went well at my appointment, and it was my best Christmas gift ever!...

I just can't express how relieved I felt walking down to my car after hearing the specialist said that everything looked great. Actually, I was supposed to get several pictures of the baby but something went wrong with the machine and the nurse couldn't print them. The doctor was very upset with the situation and appologized a lot of times... I told him not to worry and that I was more than happy just to hear him say everything was OK, but he was really worried about the picture incident.... He told me that he would give me a 4D u/s free to make-up for the inconvenience!!!... That was nice!!!... Now I just need to do a little research on when is the best time to do it, if you happen to know please let me know!!!

I didn’t tell in my lasts posts that thank God there is nothing wrong with the baby, this kind of u/s was recommended by my OB/GYN even if everything looked right and we decided to do it. Here in my country is common practice to have an u/s every time you have a follow-up appointment during pregnancy, so I am lucky to get to see the baby each time I go to the OB/GYN. This genetic u/s is not mandatory if everything looks good but my OB/GYN suggested having it done anyway. We are convinced that we would not terminate the pregnancy if something went wrong but we did wanted to know the results of the genetic u/s so we could prepare the best we could to deal with the situation, in case we needed to. Thankfully everything looked right.

My OB/GYN is getting the report about the u/s and I have a follow-up appointment tomorrow to check on the pregnancy and to discuss the results.

Even though the u/s was very detailed and it took like 90 minutes, the baby didn’t want to cooperate too much when we wanted to confirm the gender. I needed to move to my side for a while and then to move to the straight position again and when we were giving up the baby gave us a nice view… I am sure you can guess with the picture added to this post!

I hope you all had a great holiday! ;)

...Where there is life there is hope!!!!

Good news first....

Where there is life, there is hope!!!....

I am extremely happy to report that our prayers were answered!!!…. My online friend Kathy got great news yesterday after her follow-up u/s, everything looked good and baby Benson was as happy as can be with a strong heartbeat again!!!

And now, a little update about my life these days:

I had an appointment with the endocrinologist yesterday to check on my thyroid levels and everything looks good. No need to increase my meds at this point, which is great, and I hope to keep the good news coming after my u/s this afternoon.

I don’t know if my u/s is like the big u/s that those of you living in the States get. This one is a very detailed u/s performed by a genetics specialist. Here they call it “Level IV -Genetic u/s”. After the u/s I will get a report and a copy will be sent to my OB/GYN. We will discuss the results with the specialist during the appointment and then with my OB/GYN next week. This is the u/s were we will know for sure the gender but it is the last thing I am really worried about…. I just want everything to be fine!!!!

I wouldn’t be honest if I tell you that I am completely relaxed. Every time an appointment gets closer I get nervous and anxious, …. Well this time is no exception, I guess I was fine during the past few days but then today I really feel the anxiety. The T is not going to be able to make it today for the u/s as he has to attend the Christmas party for all the employees at the warehouse. I will be going all by myself so please send me all your good vibes, thoughts, and prayers!!!

A kindly request!!!

This time I am here with a very friendly request:

Please, have Kathy and her family in your thoughts and prayers as they go through a difficult time.

Kathy, a big hug for you!!!

Something fun to start this week!!!

….I guess with all the things going on during the past few weeks I forgot to write about something fun!!…

When our past OB appointment was approaching, the T kept asking if we would be able to know the gender of the baby and every time I told him that it was still very early to tell for sure. Then when we were in the u/s room and the doctor was performing the u/s the T told him that I was very, very impatient about knowing the gender. After I heard that I just laugh out loud!!!… You see, I WAS THE ONE IMPATIENT!!!!…

So, the doctor told us it was still early to confirm and that he didn’t like to tell before it was sure. Then the T said that I've told him the same thing, but if he could give us a “clue”. He doctor laughed and told him he would give us a clue on what he was seeing but also he told us not to come after him if in the big u/s we get a different confirmation.

So, I said that I could wait until the big u/s but the T said that he wanted the clue… Now it was totally clear who was the impatient one….!!!… So the doctor kept looking at the screen looking for a good view and then he freezes it and makes it bigger…. And then he says OK, here are the upper part of the legs and, if you see here, this baby at this point seems to be a GIRL!!!…

So, we'll see if we get that confirmation on the big u/s on the 21st!!!!

I've been tagged!!!

...for a while now and I haven't realized it!!!

Tina tagged me, but as my life has been kind of crazy lately, I haven't had much time to spend on my blog, and I just noticed it a few days ago.... Well, she is one of my readers, and now online friend, who after a long IF road is now pregnant with twins. She is having a follow up appointment and an u/s today to see the heartbeats, so please keep her in your toughts, prayers and chicken dances!

Tina: All of my fingers crossed and a prayer for you today!!!... ;)

As I've been tagged, here are 8 random things about me:

1. My passions in life: travel, knit/crochet, cooking/baking, running

2. I have never smoked

3. I have never been drunk - I rarely drink more than 2 glasses of any alcoholic beverage

4. I’m fortunate to have been in 38 countries around the world

5. I have a bachelor in Industrial Engineering

6. I have also 2 technical degrees - One in culinary arts and the other one in baking and pastry

7. I lost my father when I was 4 years old, my mom was 29 and pregnant. She lost the baby also.
With the loss of my father, I think I lost my mother too…. I believe she never actually fully recovered from the whole thing, she became alcoholic and still is, so I grew up in a very tough and modest environment....

8. I married The T, my college sweetheart, after 9 years of dating... Yes, NINE YEARS!!! -I was ready to sue him if he didn't propose - ;)

Now, I tag you..... I like this tag thing because I believe is a great way to get to know you better, so if you have a chance, get in this tag process and tell us more about you!

15 weeks and growing!!!

Wow, it really amazes me to see how our baby ticker keeps changing each week. It seems that this week our treasure is starting to look much more like a little one. And well, also since the beginning of this week I feel that my belly is popping out and I am so excited about it!

The firsts weeks of the pregnancy, even though I felt great I was bloated and I notice it in my clothes, but then I guess it went away slowly because a lot of my pants that felt tight started to fit just right again and I still fit in a lot of my regular clothes. I can’t wait to start showing and feel the baby move.

The weekend was very good!!!... The stores were very busy and we had record sales. Also one friend from college came to visit and we kind of “took advantage” of it and went to visit this new place in the city. It is a man made river that starts in downtown, goes to the south and it finishes inside a park. We knew it was a nice place but I really didn’t imagine how gorgeous it is. It is 1 mile long and has a promenade on the sides where people can walk, and along the way it has a lot of different kinds of fountains and waterfalls. It is just beautiful and I believe I will come back to take a few pictures and show you so you can see a little bit about where I live.

I hope you all have a great week and a very happy Monday!!!….

... An intense post!

OK…. I have been M.I.A. again so prepare yourself and fasten your seat belts because this is going to be a LOOOONG post!!!...... Because the past couple of weeks have been kind of intense!!!

First, we had the last retail trade show of the year and we were very busy setting up the booth and making all the arrangements. Thank God we had a very good show and got a lot of orders in, so that was a nice reward after all the hard work.

Then, the T got really sick. He caught a virus and he caught it seriously. He had very intense headaches, fever and lost all appetite and energy. He is not a small guy that gets sick easily; actually I have never seen him this sick in the 14 years we have been together.
This time the virus hit him hard and put him on bed for the past week. We were able to control the headaches and fever with meds but the worst part was the energy loss. He was so weak that going from bed to the bathroom was like climbing Everest!… If he was in bed without doing any extra efforts he was “fine” but then, minimal efforts like going to the bath and taking a shower required more energy than what he could provide and he will start having these episodes of loosing all color, turning stark white, sweating like crazy. He has never passed out, but he told me that was the feeling he had during these episodes, like he was going to pass out if he didn’t put his body on bed rest right away.

I was worried!!!….

He stayed like this for 3 days and during the 4th day I took him to the hospital and while they were checking on his vitals he had another episode. I am glad he had one there because we were having a hard time trying to describe them. Once we started having it the whole people at the ER moved very quickly and in a second they had him in bed. As you can imagine, the T was very nervous and I was terrified!!!…. But I needed to be strong and calm for him, so I don’t know how but I managed to at least pretend and make him and the doctors believe that I was relaxed and calmed.

After they got him stabilized again, they drew blood to run some tests and set and IV to help with the dehydration. The tests came back and the doctors knew it was a virus but couldn’t actually conclude what kind of virus. I suspected from one specific kind that has been around a lot here in the city but the doctors needed more tests to conclude. The doctors wanted him to stay in the hospital but really it had no sense because they were not going to do anything additional to what we could do at home, so we decided to go back home. The next 2 days were the same and we had a follow up appointment after the results of the second set of tests came back. This time it was clear that it was the virus that I suspected from the beginning, and what we were doing were all that could be done. So he had a full week in bed, with no appetite at all just trying to drink a lot of fluids and waiting for the virus to finally surrender!

This week he is back to work. He is still not 100% recovered as he still feels weak, but he is managing it.

Well, the good part of all this is that we are both glad that he was the one who caught the virus and not me!!!… I have been fine and this kind of virus is not contagious from being in contact with someone that caught it, so that was good.

I am fine, and feeling very lucky because so far I’m still feeling perfectly normal, no m/s, no headaches, no sore breasts, no cramps, no constipation, no heartburn, no nothing…….and no weight gain so far!!!…

I had a follow up appointment on Monday and the doctor was very happy to see that I was feeling so well. We had an u/s and thank God our little miracle is perfect, and we got the order for the big ultrasound to be performed in 4 more weeks.

I had blood work done to check my thyroid and everything was fine, so no increase of meds yet, but I was told that most probably I will need an increase further on.

Last but not least, for those of you in the U.S.A., I want to wish you a happy belated THANKSGIVING!!!…. We don’t celebrate it in my country but I really like the meaning of it and enjoyed the celebrations a lot while we were living in the states.

I really hope you all had a great time with your families and friends!!!

Acceptance...

I haven’t been updating much because as stupid and silly as it may sound I am still cautiously reserving myself from attaching too much to all this….
I feel grateful each day, as I feel one day closer, but the reality is that in the back of my heart and my mind there is also this “something can still go wrong” thinking and I am not sure if it will ever go away.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel calm and I am, I believe I can’t worry and trust God at the same time, so as I have said before, I am taking each day at a time. Enjoying the present with hope for the future but without letting myself get too excited…. if that makes any sense!!!

It is weird, and I hadn’t comment about it before, but I was reading another blog and it rang my bell because I felt the same way. When I was dx with P..O..F.. I was told that my chances of getting pregnant naturally were not impossible but very very close to, and that my only treatment option was I..V..F.. using d.o.n.o.r e.g.g.s…. Then I started to cycle on my own again and our hope got a slight of a better view just to discover that the T’s S.A. was not good… It was a tough time and it took me a while to “digest it”.

I felt sad but knew I had a lot of things to be grateful for, so I tried to focus on those things and I prayed, and prayed and prayed just to have the strength to overcome whatever was planned for me. There is a very common “prayer” said during @lcoholics @nonymous sessions that I like and it has to do with all this. I will try to translate and share:

God, please grant me serenity to accept those things that I can’t change,
Courage to change those that I can,
And wisdom to recognize the difference.

As each day went by I felt better and realized that in order to bring someone else into my life I first needed to be at peace with myself, so I was working hard on that one!!!…

It is odd, but as the time passed I felt even better and in August it came to a point in which I accepted that having my own child was something that may never happen for us and that I wasn’t going to let that fact take over my life and my feelings. I knew we could find a way to deal with it…. Much to my surprise, August was our lucky month!!!… Did it had something to do with my acceptance???… I don’t know, but I do know that the timing do make a match.

I hope you all have a great day!!!

Whew!!!

I had my follow up appointment this morning and I am happy to report that everything is going well. My “lt” was very active, measuring 4.5 centimeters, with a HB of 159 beats per minute. I was pleased and sort of relieved to see him again as happy as can be.

I guess I am starting to believe that this is ACTUALLY happening and that everyday we are one day closer to have a May baby!!!

I hope this great trend of good news keep coming…. Have a great day!

…More great news to share!!!

OK, October has been such a great month that I just don’t want it to come to an end!!!….

First, things first:

CONGRATS Farah!!!!
She is another online friend who also has been struggling with primary IF and got to see those beautiful 2 lines last week and then a great beta.

Kathy, got great second and third beta levels and she is also now waiting for her appointment next Monday.

I will have my fingers crossed for both of you girls, so please keep the good news coming after your appointments!!!

Sommer, another online friend who was pregnant with twin boys after I..V..F.., delivered her boys at 31 weeks on Friday October 19th . She had an emergency c-section and had some complications later but I am so very happy to report that she is doing a great job to recover fast and her preemie boys are progressing incredibly good!… They are just absolutely gorgeous!!!

Last week we had the grand opening of the new store and it was great!!!… It was a lot of work and we are all still tired but everything came out perfect and so far we have heard very good comments from our customers. We are hoping and praying to have great sales this coming holiday season.

Last but not least…. I have a follow up dr. appointment tomorrow and I must confess I am a bit scared!!!!
Since I found out about this pregnancy I have been kind of “reserved” about my feelings. I knew that seeing 2 lines and having great betas not always ends in a live birth 8 months later, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up to much in order to “protect” myself. That’s why I haven’t told about the pregnancy to anyone apart from my mother and my in laws…. And I know they don’t understand why I am being so “closed minded” in this matter, I guess just us who have been struggling with IF issues can relate to this.
I have been trying to take one day at a time and well, I know that being scared and worried won’t change any outcome, it is what it is and that helps a little to ease my mind and be at peace.

I will update tomorrow after my appointment, hopefully keeping the good news coming in!

....Great news always deserve a post!!!

Sorry I have been MIA again!!!...

We have the grand opening of the new store at the end of this week and in my office I am still involved in the closing of the 2 big projects, so I have been very busy!!!

I had some great news that I wanted to share:

Kathy, one of my online friends, has been struggling with secondary infertility for a long time. She and her husband underwent several fresh IVF cycles without success. This past cycle they tried their first FET and a few minutes ago they got the great news.... IT WORKED!!!

Yes.....They are pregnant and their first beta came back at an awesome level!

....I really don't know why but I had a good feeling for her about this cycle, so today I was on pins and needles waiting for her post and I must confess that reading it brought me to tears!

Kathy: I am extremely happy for you, Bob and Sean.... I am sure this is by far the greatest birthday gift for Bob!.... I really hope it is the begining of a memorable story with a happy ending for a lot more years to come!!! A BIG HUG FOR YOU!!!

....Yes, I am here and I am ALIVE!!!

Sorry for being MIA for so long!!!

The previous weeks have been very busy and hectic at the office. One of my coworkers got married and took 20 days off and another one is on maternity leave, so that means my tasks got “triplicated” and then I am also working on the closing of 2 big projects, so keep the fun going!!!….

Besides that I am fine… When I had my u/s appointment the doctor asked me for a lot of prenatal blood work tests and also a thyroid test. At the end of last year he asked me to have my thyroid checked and while it was within the normal range, T.S.H. was a little bit on the high side. Doctors like to see T.S.H. values at 2-2.5 and mine was 4.0. He didn’t give me any medication at that time but with the prenatal testing he also wanted to check my thyroid hormone levels again. Well, it turned out my T.S.H. had already increased and was outside the normal range, so I started medication to keep it under control and was asked to see the endocrinologist again. All the other tests came back fine.

I went to see the endocrinologist last Friday and everything was fine, I had been taking my medication for 9 days and my T.S.H. was already under control so that was good. She told me it is still early to know if I will need thyroid medication from now on. She will keep monitoring my levels and we will have a better idea if it is something that will stay forever or it just due to the pregnancy…. Only time will tell.

During my appointment with the endocrinologist, I learned that my doctor, who is a F.S., is the one who took care of her 3 pregnancies. I knew they got along very well but didn’t know she was actually his patient. I knew my doctor was a very good doctor but knowing that he was actually her doctor gave me even more confidence.

Overall I am fine, and have been feeling very well. Sometimes I have this strange feeling… I don’t know if it is m/s because it doesn’t happen just in the morning. I feel like I ate too much and I am “full”. So full that I feel that I have the food in my throat. It is weird. I have realized that it happens very often when I haven’t had anything to eat for a long period of time, so now I try to eat small snacks every now and then and that seems to help.

Even though I haven’t been commenting much on your blogs, I want you to know that I have been following them….

Sommer, I can't believe you are already 30 weeks!!!... It has been a long and tough road but you have done an outstanding job, ....keep on going you're always there!!!

Kathy, I agree with Sommer.... I am really hoping and praying that this is the ONE!!!

Farah, I know there are no words to make you feel better, I just want you to know that I am here!!!

Princess, I am extremely happy about the great results you got, it is time to start celebrating!

Trish, A big hug to you. I'll be thinking of you this wednesday.

Ultimate Journey, A beautiful baby girl, that is awesome!

The treasure’s heart beat!!!…

I had my first u/s yesterday and I am soooo glad to report that everything looked great. Our little treasure - “lt” from now on - was there, as happy as can be, measuring 2.2mm with a heartbeat of 120 BPM.

I really have no words to describe how relieved and happy I feel right now, it’s just unbelievable.

The doctor was really surprised that considering my story, we’ve got our BFP on our own, an even more surprised with my beta numbers. He just couldn’t believe it and said that he has never seen another case like mine in his entire career. Well, there’s nothing impossible for God!

It was funny that when he reviewed my betas again he said they looked great but nothing else, he just stared at them for a while…then when we were in the u/s room, we were looking at the screen and the lt appeared. The doctor explain what we were looking at, then pointed out the heart beat and turned the sound on so we could “hear it”… then he kept looking at my uterus and said well, it seems it is just one!!!…. I laughed and replied that I knew he would also have that doubt because of my high betas and that I would be extremely happy with twins as I’ve always had a fascination with multiples. And his answer was: well, you aren’t really a very “spacious” girl. Twins would’ve been a challenge for your body but we would’ve looked for the best way to deal with it!

To say that we are o.v.e.r t.h.e. m.o.o.n. is really an understatement. We are happily enjoying each day at a time hoping that everything keeps going well.

I am sorry that I haven’t had time to catch up with your blogs this week. This has been a hectic week at the office as one of my coworkers got married and is in her honeymoon, another one is on maternity leave and one more quit and her position hasn’t been replaced yet…. So I am driving myself crazy…. trying, just trying,…. to get the office running. I will try to catch up during the weekend but in the mean time I want to thank you again for all your support, prayers, chicken dances and for taking the time to keep going on this journey with me!

I hope you all have a great weekend!

...Treasure Found!!!

The T is home again!!…. I thought he was coming back on Saturday, but then I checked his itinerary and found out his plane back home was on Sunday. I am glad I found out on time otherwise I would have gone to the airport on Saturday!!!

Well, after a lot of different ideas I finally decided to do a “T.r.e.a.s.u.r.e H.u.n.t” to let him know the news and it was a lot of fun!!!…

It all started in our bedroom. I bought one of those balloons that are filled with helium, it had a smile face and at the end there was a greeting card. He asked me what was that and I told him that I went shopping and found a nice surprise for him, a belated birthday present. He opened the card and inside was this Treasure Hunt Card that I made, with the first hint…

Hint 1: Envelopes, 11, guest bedroom

Hint 2: http address
(Each envelope had a part of a puzzle made of a sheet of paper where I wrote an http address. The address was from a blog that I created)

Hint 3: CD Organizer, M.e.g R.y.a.n, T.o.m H.a.n.k.s, F.O.X.
(This hint was the first post of the blog I created)

Hint 4: Our closet, first drawer, left side, 3 parts
(This hint was hidden behind the DVD of the movie called You’ve.got.mail!! in one of our DVD organizers)

Hint 5: Login, password, email site
(Each of this 3 parts were hidden inside his socks sets, so he needed to unfold almost all pairs to find them all!!!)

Hint 6: 3rd bedroom, shower
(This hint was the first email of the email account I created)

Treasure Found!!!…. In the shower of the 3rd bedroom was a big box filled with a lot of paper and a smaller box where I wrapped my H.P.T with several layers of wrapping paper. The smaller box was from one of those designer pens that I got as a present a while ago. We aren’t really into designer things and I had it in a drawer, so I decided to use it just so he couldn’t imagine what was it… and it worked!!!

We both enjoyed the whole process and he didn’t have a clue!!!… We are both very happy but we know it is still early, we are really hoping for the best but don’t want to get our hopes up. We are just taking each day at a time, waiting for our appointment this coming Wednesday.

...Is GOD into trading???

I’ve only told 2 people, one of my coworkers at the office, because she knows my story and is a really good friend, and the second one is my mom. I had a hard time telling my mom and it vas very emotional. She cried and cried and told me something that made me feel bad…. She told me that she had been praying a lot and she told God that He could take her life if He healed me. I know she did so with great intentions but if something happens to her I am going to feel guilty!!!….

Now, I must tell you that my mom is a very nervous person, so when I need to talk to her about anything I need to be very careful of what I tell and how I do it because if she sees that I’m in pain or suffering she gets depressed and it lasts months… Sometimes when I feel really sad, after a good cry I feel better and my batteries recharge like magic, but for her it is not like that. So when I told her about my diagnosis it was way after I had somehow “digested” it. When we spoke about it I’ve always been calmed and relaxed otherwise she would have been depressed for a long time……

Now, I just hope God is really NOT into trading, because for me it is not one thing for the other!!!

On a side note, please send all your good thoughts, prayers and chicken dances to two good online friends. Farah who is at the end of the 2WW and Kathy who is just starting a FET cycle... Girls, I am thinking of you!!!

Still here....

Thank you very much for all your comments and support. It really means a lot to me!!!

The T is still traveling, and I haven’t told him the news yet!!!….
When I first found out I wanted to get the beta confirmation, and then I wanted to wait for the second beta to make sure things were going OK….

After that I thought a lot if I should tell him or just wait until he comes back and decided to wait. The reasoning behind my decision is that, first of all I didn’t want to tell him by email or by phone, I wanted to see his face….. Besides that I know it is still early, and if for some reason something just goes wrong during this time that he is away, he will be very worried and feeling awful for being so far. He is coming back this coming Saturday and I haven’t decided how I am going to tell him!!!…

In the mean time I have been P.O.A.S… Thank you God for dollar store H.P.T!!!… And this is a picture of the ones I have so far. The lines are getting darker, so even though I know it doesn’t really mean anything, it gives me a little reassurance…

Talking about symptoms I really don’t have any, other than no AF I feel like I always do. I hope you all have a great day!

Expect the unexpected...

….and amaze yourself!!! …If you haven’t read the previous two post, go and read those first!!!

Well, I headed to the lab on 09/11 and there was the girl that has done all of my blood draws. I explain to her my situation and she told me that the beta test isn’t processed at their facilities. They do the blood draw but they send the sample to another lab, and because of that they keep track of those orders a lot, they could still process my request but I needed to sign this paper with the name of my doctor…. And of course I did so!

I had my blood drawn and as the sample isn’t processed in the same lab, I needed to wait 24 hours to get the results….. The wait began and the next day, when it was time to go pickup the results it was raining a lot here!!!… I wasn’t sure how bad the traffic was going to be and was afraid I couldn’t get to the lab before they close so I called and they gave me the results by phone, and told her I was going back to the lab the next day to have another beta….

Now, both results are back!!!…. My beta on 09/11 at 13-14 DPO was 294, and the one on 09/13 at 15-16 DPO was 887….

I have just no words.... I am truly a.m.a.z.e.d, and s.h.o.c.k.e.d, and s.u.r.p.r.i.s.e.d!

BabyMed has this nice H.C.G. calculator and graphs your values in a chart so you can compare them with the average data of singleton pregnancies. This is what my values look like in the chart:

There was a 202% H.C.G. increase in the two-day period and my doubling time was 30 hours…. I really don’t know why my hormones levels always are OFF CHART!!!!…

I was surprised by my numbers, I really hope it doesn't mean there is something wrong!!!... It seems that for us, the worries never end and I know it is still early…. I will try to take one day at a time, anxiously waiting for the appointment with our FS next week on 09/26. For now I am on cloud nine, over the moon and I want to enjoy it!

9/11 - Part two

…If you haven’t read the previous post, go and read it first!!!….

…. Last Tuesday, when the T left, I decided that it wasn’t good to just keep waiting. If the P.O.F had come back and I needed to start taking H.R.T. again it was better to start now than to wait and let my hormones go crazy as last time… and I knew that the doctor would not fill my prescription for the pills without having a “not pregnant” confirmation. So, after the T left at 4.30 AM, as you can imagine I was just so nervous, so scared, and afraid.

It was just so much, and I couldn’t stand it anymore and decided to go to the lab to have blood work done so I could go to the doctor’s appointment with the results and then be able to leave with the prescription, instead of having him order the test and then go again to pick up the prescription after the results were back. The plan sounded good but I didn’t know if the lab would want to perform the test without the order from the doctor… I always go to the same lab and I have gone so many times that they already know me, so I decided to just go and see if they could help….

I finally woke up and while I was doing the bed I remembered I still had two pee sticks, a cheapie and an early results. I found the cheapie one and decided to P.O.A.S. before going to the lab. I figured that seeing my always snow-white result will help to start coping with the lab results…. So, I did it and my eyes just couldn’t believe what was in the result window….

Yes, there was a second line,
…. and it appeared in less than a minute,
…. and while it wasn’t blaringly dark, it wasn’t faint either,
…. it could be seen easily without H.P.T goggles….

My heart started to pound so hard, I was all shaky and couldn’t believe it. I went back to look for the wrap to check the expiration date, and it wasn’t expired…. But it was a dollar store test, it could be a faulty test… Thank God those tests ask you to pee.in.a.cup as I still had the cup and run to look for the other pee.stick. This was an early results and I wasn’t testing early, so the results would be a bit more reliable…. As soon as the dye started to get to the window area, the second line showed up…

Yes, another second line,
…. and this time it was blaringly dark,
…. almost as dark as the control line…

Here are both H.P.T - for posterity -

OMG, I was overflowed in tears of joy and happiness, I just couldn’t believe it, and I didn’t have more pee.sticks. So I decided to rush to the lab and beg and pray to the girls to perform a beta test!!!….

9/11 - Part one

OK…. I don’t even know how to start this post and it is going to be a loooong one!
I guess I should start from the beginning, right???…. Let’s see:

I’ve never been a PMS girl, no cramps, no bloating, no nothing, so every time my period arrives it is just like that, no warning!!!… Since I was off BCP the only thing that I had as a “sign” was spotting. I am a chronic spotter; I spot for as long as 6 days before AF. That’s why I had my progesterone levels checked a few months ago, but they were OK, so the doctor wasn’t concerned about it.

Last Tuesday, the T left and I was 13-14 DPO and I hadn’t started spotting. I really wasn’t excited because even though I usually spot, I have had 1 cycle with no spotting at all, and moreover, when I was Dx with P.O.F it was like that…. My period just didn’t come, not even a single spot. My hormone levels at that time were incredibly out of control and my ovaries were unresponsive, showing a clear pattern of P.O.F…. Yes, I had several tests performed after that and when the results came back the endocrinologist opinion was that the probability of really being P.O.F was very small, very small doesn’t equals impossible, there was always the chance that it really is.

After all, as I stopped cycling just like that, I started to cycle again, on my own. These facts were what the endocrinologist considered when she gave her final opinion. I was relieved but in my mind the very small chance of really being P.O.F was always there, because at the very end, P.O..F is cruel; it can go away many months and then suddenly appear again to stay forever. If you are cycling on your own, each cycle could be your last one!!!… So, as I kept cycling each month, CD1 was always a day full of mixed feelings.

As the days went by this cycle with no spotting my fears set in, I was scared and afraid. I could barely sleep at night, and the few moments I could I had nightmares! During the day I couldn’t concentrate, my productivity was like almost nonexistent! …But there was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t talk to the T about it. I knew he had to go to this business trip and I was sure he was not going to leave if he knew about it, and it just has no sense to let this take over our lives, we need to keep going!!!…

...Alone!

I'm home alone one more time....

The T left last Tuesday. He had a lot of things to go over with a few of our suppliers so that is what he is doing during this and the following week. He really needed to make this trip so we thought it was better to do it now that we are just starting with all the renovation work in the new rental than once we are in the "rush" phase.

I went to visit my mom last weekend and find out she received this letter from the government.

My grandparents from my dad's side died a few years ago. They had a few properties and assigned them one for each of their children, so as my father had already past away, the property would be for my mom. It turned out that there is some legal paperwork missing, the time has passed and the issue is still unsolved. The problem is that by law there is this tax you need to pay when you have a property and because of the situation it hasn't been paid. The issue is that the property is still under my grandparent's name and at this point we are not sure if the legal problems will be resolved, so as you can imagine we don't want to "invest" and pay this taxes for a property that may never be for my mom.

The letter is basicaly demanding the payment of this taxes or they will start a legal process to auction the property..... Sooo, I will need to go and try to talk to somebody at the government's office to explain the situation. I hope I can find a way to stop this legal process and delay the payment of the taxes until the legal issues are solved!

I have this other thing going on in my mind that I haven't been able to get a good night sleep for the last few days..... but I really don't want to go into details at this point as I think I may be over-reacting about it, so that's it for now.

Have a great thursday!!!

Good news!!!

I have very good news to report to all of you!!!!

WE CLOSED THE DEAL ON THE NEW RENTAL SPACE YESTERDAY!!! Yeeeeeeyyyyy!!!!!

We are really happy and excited about it. This will be the 3rd. store and we plan to have the grand opening in 5 weeks..... Can you imagine how crazy this next 5 weeks are going to be????...

Well, from the experience with the other stores, they are going to be loooooong working days including weekends, but that is part of the fun!

I leave you with a quote by Ralph Marston.... Have a great week!

...If you are going through difficult times, remember that whatever you may encounter is virtually insignificant when compared with what you choose to do with it. Always choose the best response, no matter what comes your way, and each day you'll rise a little higher than you were the day before!!

Rainy weekend

We had a very rainy weekend, but it seems to be over today...

As the time passes, as ironic as it may sound, I feel better about our IF struggles. As each day goes by, the pain is slowly going away. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean I don't care about it, I do care, but the last few weeks I have been feeling more at peace. I really don't understand why is it happening. Maybe it is because I am just starting to accept any possible outcome, or because I am succeeding at trying to convince myself that, at the very end, if things just don't happen for us, we will surely find a way to deal with it. Therefore there is just no point in being tough on myself and making my days any harder.

If you have time, take a few minutes and see this Slideshow ....it is good for today, tomorrow and just anyday you feel you need a little something to help pull yourself together.

Have a great week!

Behind closed doors...

I have the best news to report today and I am soooo happy about it!

Remember the rental spaces we were looking for that got rented???.... Well, the T was very unhappy about it, and it kind of bothered me also but I knew there was a good reason why that happen and I did try to transmit my feelings to the T about the whole situation.

It turns out that the T found another good place that is also available for rent!... It is located in a different area of the city, but we were also have been looking for places in this area and haven't found anything interesting. We really liked a specific corner, there is a business already there but it also has this huge parking lot, so we did a little research to find out who the owners were and talk to them to see if they were interested in renting us part of the parking lot to build the store, but they weren't interested at all.... We kept visiting the area hoping to find more options but couldn't find any. Last Tuesday the T had to attend an event and the place was near this area so in his way there he saw that one of the rentals right next to this corner we like was available for rent!

The T already went to check out the inside of the space and it really meets our needs, so he is currently negotiating pricing and contract conditions. And well if this wasn't enough good news, he got a call from another realty agent to see if we are interested in another rental in the area that the other 2 places got rented. We still don't know any details about this one, the T will go to see the space and we will see if it is what we are looking for.

Off course there is still early to be sure that we will be closing the deal on any of these new places but I am just so happy to confirm that when we seem to be behind closed doors, there is always the window, .......we just need to remember and look around to find it!

...Can I rent a child for my IL's?

I know this blog has been very boring the last few weeks, I am sorry!!!

Life has been good, I can't complain at all...

The T has been looking for a rental space for a new store, he found 2 that he liked, but with all the traveling he has been doing it took him a while to finally decide and work on a written renting proposal for the owners. Well, both places are already rented!!!... The news really hit hard on the T, but I am convinced that things happen for a reason and I guess these spaces just weren't meant to be for us!

Last weekend we went to the IL's place to have lunch and while we were eating my FIL told us that his friends are organizing a camping weekend to this place they used to go with their sons when they were kids, now the plan was to take their grandchildren there.... so while my FIL was very enthusiastic about the whole plan he doesn't have grandchildren. In the middle of the conversation my MIL said, "Well, maybe we can rent one!!!...." We all laughed and I replied that it sounded like a good option!.... I know how bad they want grandchildren and they are fully aware about our situation, so it really didn't bother me at all, I just feel sad for us and for them.

About the culture results we are waiting, it turns out that we are still waiting because the T hasn't gone to have it done.... with all the traveling he hasn't had time, I hope next week is a little bit less hectic so we can finally have the results and talk to our FS.

I went grocery shopping a few days ago and there were Christmas stuff already being sold. I just can't believe how fast this year is going!....

....Are you a winner?

I was home alone last week.... The T was out the whole week on a business trip, so as you can imagine, with my job and the stores, time just flew!

One more cycle also started last Saturday, and I have a very weird feeling every time a new cycle starts.... There is obviously the sad feeling, and I am sure I don't need to explain why!!!... but then there is also this grateful thing.... Yes, as absurd as it may sound, I also feel grateful!!!!

Grateful because that means that at least I am still cycling on my own, and with POF you just never know!!!

These last days I have been thinking a lot.... I have had some really sad news about people I know that made realize one more time how lucky and fortunate I am.... Even with all my own struggles, I am fortunate... I really don't want to get into details, some of you are currently preggo and I am sure that knowing the details will sure shock and scare you.

....I just wanted to take this opportunity to remember you that no matter what you are going through, look around and inside you, grab a pen and a sheet of paper, write down a list of all the things you have, or you are struggling with..... with my eyes closed I bet the list of good things will be by far the winner!.... And the first step to bigger and better things is convincing yourself you are a WINNER!!!

One more week...

I hope you all had a great weekend, even if things didn't turn out the way you wanted, try to remember that everything happens for a reason!...
I want to share this with you today, something to think about..... I hope you like it as much as I do!

21 Suggestions for S U C C E S S
=============================================
1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness .
2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more that they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving, of yourself, and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Be persistent, ...persistent, ...persistent.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be proactive.
17. Be decisive, even if it means you will sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you will regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

....A hectic morning!

....A crazy morning at the office!!!...

I've been kind of catching up Monday and Tuesday after being gone last week and I was almost up to date, but then this morning was hectic!

A lot of things going on and some problems, that I didn't know existed, just popped up today.... Well I believe it was all just to remind me I am alive!!!... What would be life without problems to solve???... It will be just BORING because then you can't really appreciate the good things!

The friends that I told you about in a previous post are in a close by town for a few days. We are meeting them tonight and I can't wait to see them and their children. When we were living in the US we were really close, so there is a strong bond between us. I talked to her yesterday and she told me that her pregnancy is going perfect, she's feeling great. I don't know why but I believe she is carrying twins... I told her and she was surprised because she has that feeling too!!!...

Maybe it is all in our heads and we are both crazy..... who knows, only time would tell.

On a different topic, one of the bloggers I "know" just had her ET yesterday and I was very happy to read that everything went well. She is PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) now!!!... Please have her in your thoughts and prayers and send all the good vibes and chicken dances her way.

One last thing.... as you have noticed, English it's not my native language. I try to do my best in the spelling and wording part but I am sure there are mistakes around, so please if you come across one, please let me know, otherwise I will be fooling around making the same mistakes over and over again.... How about being my teachers???.... Does that sound like a plan????

Have a great day!

Glad to be back...

Hey, I am back!!!....

We arrived last night just on time to go to the stores and are very pleased because while we were out things were running pretty good and had very very good sales!!!...

Our trip was great, it was tough because the show was big and we had just 2 and a half days to see everything, that meant looots of walking everyday but we enjoyed it. We placed some orders for new items that hopefully will be here for Christmas season... We didn't have that much free time for ourselves but hey, breathing new air and just being out of our everyday routine is a vacation itself!!!

On a different matter, my guardian angel is still working like crazy!!!.... We got back T's results for the second SA and I was sooo happy that they look muuuuuuch better than the previous one. ....Actually this time they seem to be normal. We are still waiting for the results on the culture and I really don't want to get my hopes up, but at least up to this point, it's a better picture to start with!

Last Saturday, 26 years ago, my father went to heaven. That day was a marker in my life, a lot of things have happened, and it will be a lie to say that since I was very little and a lot of time has passed, I don't miss him.....

It surely has been a tough life, and sometimes I think how my life would be if he hadn't left.... A while ago, somebody asked me that if I had the chance to change something about my life what would that be?....

I thought about it for a while, of course what came to my mind right away was my father's death. Having the opportunity to grow up with him at my side would have been great, but then I knew that all that I am today was indeed "forged" ahead by all that I have been through. It certainly hasn't been easy but what really matters and have real value in life NEVER come easy.

Dad - You are still my pillar, I love you!

Happy Wednesday!!!

I'm here, I'm here!!!!...

The days have been crazy, the T and I have been very busy at work and with the stores also. I haven't been updating so often because there is really not much to report but yesterday I got some great news that deserve to be mentioned!

The T and I met this couple when we were living in the US, we are very good friends since then and we got great news from them.....They are preggo!!!! They already have two kids, and are now happily expecting the next addition to their family. I close my eyes and it seems like yesterday when I was holding their second child, when he was a newborn, .....and he is a big kid now almost 4 years old!

OK.... I am NOT getting old; HE is the one who is getting BIG ;)

Our friends are still living in the US but he got some work to do in Europe and taking advantage of the school vacations all the family went there to spend the summer. So, after this I am just thinking that the T and I need to start preparing our european summer vacation to see if we can catch at least a little of this preggo vibes!!! .....That sounds like a plan!!!!

Well, in the mean while we will be out of town next week, we are going to attend a trade show in the US. We are looking for new items to be sold in the stores and hopefully this trade show will have good options.

I hope you all have a great Wednesday and hey can I ask you a favor???

SMILE PLEASEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

The news...

Today was the day....

We had our appointment with the FS, and it went well. He was really amazed with my progress and the results of my last 2 blood works, one was 7DPO and it showed a progesterone level of 39 and the other one was the current cycle's CD3 FSH-LH-E2, that I told you about in a previous post.

About the T's SA he really didn't want to say much. I read that SA's results can be greatly influenced by how the sample is handled and therefore you must be really sure that the lab is doing a good job to maintain the optimum conditions. We asked him about this and he agreed, so he told us about a lab that specializes in SA's and then gave us the order for a second SA's in this lab. He also ordered another SA to check for bacteria as the first SA showed the presence of white blood cells in the sample and this suggest the possibility of an infection.

So, once we have the results of these 2 tests we will call the doctor to discuss them and talk about the plan of action.... and hopefully, just hopefully our recipe for success....

Now, this just reminded me of this Ro.xette's song that is called "Dre.ssed for suc.cess".... And yes, I am liking the idea to see this time as our preparation to get dre.ssed for succ.ess!!!

Can dreams come true?

.... WOW, it seems like my guardian angel have been busy this week, because lots of good thing materialized during the last few days!

Well, between many other stuff, last year my boss assigned me a BIG project. The company had just won this project with a new customer located in Eastern Europe, it seemed complicated since the beginning but I like challenges, so I accepted. I can't really describe how difficult it was!!!... It got to a point in which I was afraid every morning... afraid and stressed about getting my email because I just didn't have enough time to deal all of the things that were getting even more complicated than expected. At the end the project was implemented successfully, but it really cost me, like we say here: blood, sweat and tears!

This week we got customer's approval to start working on the contract for a second project!!!... My boss has been out of town for the past few days but I will surprise him with the good news next week!

The stores have also been doing pretty good this week!.... This time of the year is usually low because people is saving and using their money for vacations but so far we have had veeeeery good sales, I 'll cross my fingers for a good weekend also!

In a different matter, the T told me the other day that he got an email from a friend. She sends emails once in a while to be in touch, so she wrote about her life and at the end she wrote that she dreamed about us a few days ago. She dreamed that the T and I had twins (she doesn't know about our IF) , a boy and a girl.... I just couldn't resist to smile at the T when he was telling me, really it would be the best thing ever!!!....

...They say that God doesn't charge us for asking, praying so today I will ask and pray. Hopefully someday I will live to see her dream come true!

A new perspective...

OK the weekend is over, and this Monday brings not just a new week but also a new chapter in our lives...

I found this quote in one of the blogs that I read and it spoke to me. Today I want to share it with you. No matter what you may be dealing with at this point in your life, I believe it can speak to you too.

...Life is too short to wake up every morning with regrets,

so love the people who treat you right,

forget about the ones who don't,

and believe that everything happens for a reason....

If you get a chance, TAKE IT,

if it changes your life, LET IT.

Nobody said that it would be easy,

they just promised it would be worth it!!!

TGIF!!!

Time flies!!!.... I can't believe it is Friday already!!!.....
Most of the people would be happy because Friday means the beginning of the weekend - time to take a break from work and get free time to enjoy -
Well, the meaning of weekend in my house isn't quite that one!!!... That just doesn't seem to happen when you are part of the "retail world"

Yes, T's family owns a business that besides wholesale runs two retail stores (and already working to find a rental for the 3rd. one!) .... So as you can imagine, weekends are the busiest days of the week in the stores. I have a job that has nothing to do with the family business but I also help the T with several things at the stores, so most of my week days are pretty busy with my job and then the weekends with the stores.... The fun never ends!
Sometimes, when I feel tired I think that it is just too much... and then I think of all those unemployed people and I feel bad and guilty for complaining. Thank God for giving me health and a lot of busy days!

OK... I wasn't able to talk to my endocrinologist about the T's SA but I already booked an appointment with our FS. This doctor is the one I saw when I was looking for a second opinion when I was Dx with POF, and he was who referred me to my endocrinologist. We will see him on July 18th, so I believe we will just wait to hear his opinion.

That's all for now, so fasten your seat belts, get ready, and......... enjoy the weekend!!!

From POF to MFI, am I sooooo lucky???

Well, The T went to the lab yesterday for a SA. We got the results today and even thought I am NOT a doctor, I believe it doesn't look good.

The count was 16.6 million per ml and the reference level stated that normal should be from 60-150 million per ml.
Motility at 30 min was 38%, at 1-2hr was 15%, at 3 hr was 11% and after 4 hrs was 1%.
Morfology was normal: 86%

I have tried to do research but couldn't find that much information. I just learned that they called oligospermia to the low count and astenoospermia to the lack of motility. Anyway, I will try to contact my RE to see what does she suggest. I guess we will need to see an urologist but I am not sure.

I really don't know what all this is taking us but I am sure of one thing, I am soooo very lucky to have a loving marriage and also to have the T as my husband, because we will get through this TOGETHER!!!

Where are we now???

Well, I have been having normal cycles, and since then have been TTC on our own unsuccessfully. 5 cycles had passed, but of those we didn't time things right in 2 because the T was out of town on my "green days"... The other 3 I believe we did time things perfectly but no success anyway.

I am using FAM to see how are my cycles and while are not perfect, IMO they seem to be getting better.

Even though I am currently having normal cycles, I just can't let go the fear that the POF diagnosis brought to me. Sometimes I think I am being paranoid but that's how I feel. My last blood work was done back in early March and this month the thought of POF coming back has been in my mind a lot. It has been bothering that much that I decided to have blood work done again to check how we are, so last Friday was CD3 and I went to the lab. The results were better than ever: FSH 5.4, LH 5.6, E2 58. I was very happy and it helped to ease my mind a bit.

Well, I know it can take many months for a healthy couple to conceive but considering my case I guess I feel more pressure and want it to happen soon, but then I remember it's not all in my hands!

Once I was in the lab getting my blood drawn I asked about SA's. I learned that they are not as expensive as I thought they will be so I talked to the T about it and we decided he will go and have it done. I made an appointment for tomorrow, so I will keep my fingers crossed so that everything is OK, and hope for the BEST.

Second opinion...

Well, my dear friend A, reccommended a naturopath and the T and I went to see him. After listening to me and reviewing my blood work he was convinced I didn't have POF, he was the first person to doubt about the Dx. He gave me some herbal tinctures and fresh herbs to make tea and I started taking them along with my HRT pills.
His opinion on my pills was that it was OK to take them for one month to get my FSH and LH back to normal levels but after that we needed to work with my body so it can produce the estrogen by ITSELF and not tricking it by the estrogen supplied by the HRT.

After the appointment the T and I were hopeful and decided that I will finish the package of HRT, and I will not start a new one. We wanted to see how my body responded without the HRT, just taking the natural remedies. Once I finished the last pill, I got my induced period on December the 2nd, and a new cycle without HRT started.

Much to my surprise I started my period on my own on December 27th, no HRT needed... and I must admit that I have never been so happy about actually having a period!

Well, after that we went to see an endocrinologist (RE) for a second opinion. She seemed positive and thought we were on the right track being off HRT, she wanted to give my body some time to let go all the effects of chemicals before doing further testing. She seemed concerned about my weight and my training level but I'have had a knee injury the week before so I had quit the training for the marathon, so she said to keep it easy.

So, the next period was annovulatory and I developed a functional cyst but after that the next one was normal. I had more tests done on CD4 ordered by the RE: An LH/FSH-RH stimulation test, DHEA, and 17-alpha-hydroxyprogesterone.

All the tests came back N O R M A L !!! ....I had gained 4 pounds due to the lack of exercise and the RE told us her opinion: She thought IT WASN'T POF. I had a chronic hormonal imbalance due to a combination of things: being on BCP for so long, lack of body fat needed to produce estrogen (due to overtraining) and stress. She put me on a diet to increase my body fat and therefore my BMI and the next two months I gained 6 more pounds. My cycles were fairly regular and on my own, no HRT needed at all !!!

After dealing with the POF diagnose it is hard to believe that it was all a bad dream. POF is cruel sometimes because it is possible to have it and then suddenly experience a few months of normal cycles and then appear again!... That is the "beauty" of it, you never know what to expect, if you are on a normal cycle it could very well be your LAST ONE...

POF... and a very small world!!!

After my diagnosis I was shocked!!!....
It was very difficult to deal with, it really hurts.... but why to focus on what I can't have instead of counting and be grateful for EVERYTHING I do have???
Even though I was still grieving I chose the positive path, and this approach was much better and helped me through my everyday life after the diagnosis.

Besides my work, I was involved in a new, very exciting project with the T at that time, so there were many nights with few hours of sleep and also a lot of weekends without free time to rest.... we were very busy.

As big as this world may seems to be it isn't!!!... One of the T co-workers had been struggling to get pregnant, but we didn't know what was the problem. After my diagnosis we learned that she also was diagnosed with POF!... To be able to talk to someone that was not just wearing but actually walking in my SHOES helped me tons.... Dear A, if you read this someday I want you to know that I really appreciate your time and all the support from you!

A little about me

Well, where do I start?...

The T-boy (the T from now on) and I have been married for 5 years but we dated for almost 9, so that makes 14 wonderful years together!

When we got married, we lived the first 2 years in the US while the T attended grad school, after that we came back to our country and we both kept working and decided to wait to start our family. At the end of last year we were ready and excited to start trying, so I went off BCP and my period didn't come.

I had suffered from secondary amenorrhea in 2001 due to overtraining so I thought it happened again!... Nothing serious back then, I took some pills for 3 months to help my hormones get back on track and after those 3 months everything went back to normal. This time I was working out a lot also, I was training for a marathon and was running about 30 miles per week.

I had an u/s and my OB/GYN ordered some blood work and when I got the results I was shocked!!... I didn't know exactly what was happening but they just didn't look good at all. My FSH was 84, LH was 46 and estradiol was non existent at less than 20.

I went to my follow-up appointment and my OB/GYN after looking at my blood work results asked me a lot of questions, he was trying to look for symptoms but I had none of them. He told me that sometimes it happens, and Dx me with POF (Premature ovarian failure) and told me that basically I was experiencing menopause 15 to 20 years earlier than normal. My ovaries had stopped working, and that explained my abnormally high levels of FSH and LH.

Obviously, getting pregnant naturally was not impossible but VERY close to, and also I needed to start HRT right away to overcome the effects of menopause in terms of bone density and heart diseases.

I didn't know that POF even existed, so I started my research and learned a lot about it.... What a warm welcome to the infertility world!